Girl #1: Hey, we gave your boyfriend a new nickname!
Girl #2: Oh yeah, what?
Girl #1: Puff the Magic Dragon!
Girl #2, slightly exasperated: Oh…is that because of his cock?
–Cheap Shots, East Village
Girl #1: Hey, we gave your boyfriend a new nickname!
Girl #2: Oh yeah, what?
Girl #1: Puff the Magic Dragon!
Girl #2, slightly exasperated: Oh…is that because of his cock?
–Cheap Shots, East Village
Black guy #1: She wanted to suck my dick watching Sanford and Son at 2AM.
Black guy #2: White niggas don’t understand the principle in that. There ain’t nothing wrong with that.
–2nd & 1st
Overheard by: Errol Stairpath
Guy: You have to accept the lord Jesus Christ into your soul! The Gospel says that if you don’t accept the lord, you will burn in hell! Hear my words and heed my warnings! The lord will take vengance upon your defiance!
Woman: Here’s a quarter! Shut the fuck up!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Guy #1: Have I ever told you that I got a ticket for public urination?
Guy #2: No way, that’s awesome!
–3rd Ave & 19th St
Guy #1: What’s a clamato? Isn’t that a type of tomato? Tastes like a tomato.
Guy #2: It’s a clam and a tomato.
Guy #1: No… Really?
Guy #3: Yeah. It’s a combination of two words… you know, like dumbass!
–Union Suare
Overheard by: Primo
Ghetto high school girl #1: Gimme the camera!
Ghetto high school girl #2: Noooo! I need to take a picture for myspace. You know what that means!
Ghetto high school girl #1: What?
Ghetto high school girl #2: I gotta look cute! But it has to look normal, like I’m not posing.
Ghetto high school girl #1 grabs the camera and whacks girl #2 on the head. She snaps a photo.
Ghetto high school girl #2: What the fuck bitch!?
Ghetto high school girl #1: [looking at the camera] Oh my god! It’s such a cuuuuuuuuuute picture!
Ghetto high school girl #2: Oh my god! I’m sooooo cute.
–Starbucks, 17th & Union Square W
Girl #1: As Shakespeare once said: “Thou shall not kill.”
Girl #2: No, that would be God.
–11th & University
Scrubby girl: …so he said I spent too much on bags, and I should sell some. But I love bags, and I get them all on sale!
Professional girl: How much do you spend on bags a month?
Scrubby girl: Around a thousand.
Professional girl: And how much is your rent?
Scrubby girl: Eight hundred.
Professional girl: So sell some fucking bags. Jesus!
–14th & A
Overheard by: Corocet
Girl: I mean, I never want to get married. Like… never. But I really want babies. So I guess I’m just going to have a bastard.
–Marquet Cafe, 15 East 12th St
Overheard by: Grace
