Guy # 1: Dude, I’m hella hungry.
Guy # 2: I’m freakin’ hella tired of your whining, a-hole!
Guy # 1: At least I ain’t hella stupid!
Guy # 2: And you’re hella ugly!
Passenger, to guys: Are you from Jersey?
–C Train
Overheard by: Hammer-head
Guy # 1: Dude, I’m hella hungry.
Guy # 2: I’m freakin’ hella tired of your whining, a-hole!
Guy # 1: At least I ain’t hella stupid!
Guy # 2: And you’re hella ugly!
Passenger, to guys: Are you from Jersey?
–C Train
Overheard by: Hammer-head
Girl: Where is Norfolk again? Virginia?
Guy: No, Long Island. Long Island forks into two parts, Norfolk and Suffolk.
–JFK
Overheard by: miss n.
Asian girl #1: Where is Ontario?
Asian girl #2: Um…I think it’s in the Midwest.
Asian girl #1: Oh, really? Is it a state?
Asian girl #2: Hmm…I’m not sure…
–27th & 7th
Texan Guy #1: Wow, I haven’t owned an overcoat in years!
Texan Guy #2: In Texas if you wear one they’ll shoot you! It means you’re a bank robber.
–Madison Ave & 43rd
Girl #1: He used to travel all the way from Minnesota to see my mom.
Girl #2: Wasn't he married?
Girl #1: Yeah, and it turned into real big mess. Eventually, my mom got into a fight with all his cousins, and then stabbed his mom.
–Q46 Bus
College student with Boston accent: Yeah, I was reading this article in like Newsweek or something, that ranked the states from smartest to dumbest. Massachusetts was in the top ten.
College student with Miami accent: What about Florida?
College student with Boston accent: Florida was like, 47.
College student with Miami accent: Out of how many?
–NYU
Overheard by: Still Laughing
Hobo: I never should have left Kansas City.
–85th between 2nd & 3rd
Blonde: So you mean Alaska’s not an island right above Hawaii?
Brunette: How did you graduate college, again?
Blonde: Well, I wasn’t a geography major. Gosh!
–96th & Madison
Overheard by: amused
Hipster: Jesus! This place is worse than Austin seven years ago!
–Bedford St. Station, Williamsburg
Overheard by: K.
Woman #1, in bathroom line: Where are you from?
Woman #2: New Jersey, unfortunately.
–Deluxe, 114th & Broadway
Overheard by: McFreaky
Upset man: Wow, you lied to me about everything. I don't know anything about you. (pause) Is there anything you didn't lie to me about?
Liar girl: Just one thing, I really am from Georgia.
Upset man: (eyes widen)
Liar girl: And I don't have an STD! Seriously! No, really. Seriously.
–Cafe Orlin, East Village
