Hipster #1: Have we had the bar mitzvah conversation yet?
Hipster #2: I thought you were a Mexican?
Hipster #1: I’m Brazilian. And Jewish.
Hipster #2: Are you fucking with me?
–Williamsburg
Hipster #1: Have we had the bar mitzvah conversation yet?
Hipster #2: I thought you were a Mexican?
Hipster #1: I’m Brazilian. And Jewish.
Hipster #2: Are you fucking with me?
–Williamsburg
Black tween girl: So, Jared was like, ‘What? You want a pizza party?’ and I said, ‘No, I want a party that I can pop, lock, and drop in.’ And then she goes, ‘Girl, I can pop and lock, but if I drop, I’ll drop.
–59th & Lex N/R/W stop
Overheard by: koala
Drunk guy on cell: What? Yeah, it’s always a great party… Hmmm… Let me think of who I have to sleep with to get you an invite…
–34th & 3rd
20-ish chick: I was telling the girls about how his cock unfurls like one of those party blowers, and then they happened to have those blowers at the New Year’s Eve party we went to, so I tormented them with one all night.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: McFreaky
Late-30s guy: I’m the kind of guy who goes to parties and brags about my perky corneas.
–House party, S 8th St, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred
Guy on cell: Well, the funeral was Tuesday… Yeah, the party was that night.
–10th & 2nd
Overheard by: Suzz
Barbie type to tourist pals: It sucks — you guys are like two weeks late to party with Heath Ledger.
–2nd Ave, between E 6th & E 7th St
Overheard by: Ben
Guy: Do you think Jim’s cute?
Girl: He looks like a baby.
Guy: Like an isosceles baby.
Girl: His head is made of polygons.
–Metropolitan & Lorimer
Overheard by: Olga
Hipster guy: Yeah, it was like when I used to be a ninja, before I gave it up.
Hipster girl: Oh, I see.
–N 7th St, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mary C.
Toothless lady to fat friend: I gotta go to Jersey ’cause my sister shitted out another kid.
Fat friend: Damn.
–Union & Metropolitan, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Biotech: Mary, go fuck yourself!
Mary: I… I don’t know how.
–Grand & Roebling, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Jordan Cooper
Guy #1: Actually, I can only have orgasms while I eat good food.
Guy #2: This is why I wear diapers.
–Richardson St & Graham Ave, Williamsburg
Overheard by: martimus
Boyfriend, about punk girl passersby: Man, whatever happened to fake titties and a tan?
Girlfriend, possessing neither: Hey!
Boyfriend: Oh, sorry.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: bemused eavesdropper
Dude: Look, I don’t get it! Why doesn’t she take my opinion seriously?!
Chick: Because she’s a graphic designer and you’re an anthropologist.
Dude: I am not an anthropologist! God!
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Abram
Drunk hipster #1: Hey, are you okay?
Drunk hipster #2, looking at girl in Houndstooth pattern coat: Yeah, I just didn’t realize how drunk I was until I started staring at that girl’s coat, and now I think I’m gonna throw up.
–Matchless Bar, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Aria Grillo
