Biotech: Mary, go fuck yourself!
Mary: I… I don’t know how.
–Grand & Roebling, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Jordan Cooper
Biotech: Mary, go fuck yourself!
Mary: I… I don’t know how.
–Grand & Roebling, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Jordan Cooper
Guy #1: Actually, I can only have orgasms while I eat good food.
Guy #2: This is why I wear diapers.
–Richardson St & Graham Ave, Williamsburg
Overheard by: martimus
Boyfriend, about punk girl passersby: Man, whatever happened to fake titties and a tan?
Girlfriend, possessing neither: Hey!
Boyfriend: Oh, sorry.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: bemused eavesdropper
Dude: Look, I don’t get it! Why doesn’t she take my opinion seriously?!
Chick: Because she’s a graphic designer and you’re an anthropologist.
Dude: I am not an anthropologist! God!
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Abram
Drunk hipster #1: Hey, are you okay?
Drunk hipster #2, looking at girl in Houndstooth pattern coat: Yeah, I just didn’t realize how drunk I was until I started staring at that girl’s coat, and now I think I’m gonna throw up.
–Matchless Bar, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Aria Grillo
Drunk Brit with arm around ugly lady: Oh, Jesus, just walking is making me horny.
–10th & 2nd
Overheard by: emilia
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Your hair is making me horny.
–B train
Overheard by: Janelle
Guy in hoodie: I don’t know — rain gear just doesn’t really turn me on.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ktg
Loud woman: According to recent research, a nine-month-old fetus can experience an erection.
–Bus to Staten Island
Chick on cell: … And he was, like, rubbing his erection on me, and I was like, ‘Dude, you’re rubbing your erection on me…’
–Fordham University
Lady: What are horny men doing at Build-a-Bear, anyway?
–40th & 5th
Overheard by: don’t wanna know
Hipsterette #1: I just don’t know what to do!
Hipsterette #2: Just be an artist, baby. Paint it out. Paint all your emotions out.
–S 1st & Havemeyer, Williamsburg
Ghetto mama #1: Yeah, I get him ready for bed, and then he starts cryin’ and shit.
Ghetto mama #2: Girl, you give that baby some NyQuil before you put him to bed and he will be good to go.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Woman who endured rush hour: Wow, what a rush! That was just like Frogger!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Amy D M
Girl watching friend play Frogger: Oh, I remember how to play! You’re supposed to avoid the cars!
–Barcade, Williamsburg
Overheard by: champ
Dude: I’m telling you, I was put on this Earth just to play fuckin’ Tetris.
–W 13th St
Overheard by: Lauren L
Little Dominican boy to classmate: Why you had to tell on me, white boy, version-one-of-Donkey-Kong?!
–PS 8, Washington Heights
Overheard by: Mona
Law student: He’s a good professor, but he doesn’t have that Mortal Kombat instinct. You know — finish him!
–Sammy’s Noodle Shop, 6th Ave
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Boy at screen door: Mom, can I come in?
Mom: Show me.
Boy: What?
Mother: Show me the money.
–Meserole Ave, Greenpoint
