30-something mom: Here we are. Here we are. Get it? Here we arrre.
Five-year-old daughter: That’s a good one, Mommy.
–R train station, Union St
Overheard by: Tacologic
30-something mom: Here we are. Here we are. Get it? Here we arrre.
Five-year-old daughter: That’s a good one, Mommy.
–R train station, Union St
Overheard by: Tacologic
Annoyed white girl: That cop with the flashlight was, like, shining it on my ass! So I was like, ‘Stop! I know my congressional rights, bitch!’
–Bus from Live Earth to Port Authority
Overheard by: Kevin
20-ish guy on cell: Yeah… Yeah, I talked to the cops, too! I told them I would kick her fucking jaw in if I didn’t get my money! Ma… Yeah, Ma, you know I don’t care!
–Thompson St, between W 3rd & Bleecker
Overheard by: The Simian Space Man
Conductor over intercom: Either we can have a peaceful ride uptown, or the police can ride with us. You decide [laughs maniacally].
–2 train
Overheard by: Ladle
[Hippie on bicycle loses concentration and crashes into lamppost.]
Cop in nearby squad car, over loudspeaker: Hahaha! Should’ve been more careful, or what?!
–42nd & 8th
Overheard by: Susan Laura
Chick: So, I’m up by Bryant Park, and there are all these cop cars lined up, and then one of them decides, ‘Okay, time to go!’ and he puts his siren on and pulls out, and all the rest of them following, all their sirens going whoop-buppa-whoop-whoop! And then I hear something that sounds like some guy going ‘whoop-buppa-whoop-whoop’ — like, he’s making siren noises — and I turn around, and there’s this cop… I guess the siren on his cop car wasn’t working or something, so he’s on the loudspeaker mic yelling, ‘Whoop-buppa-whoop-whoop!’ as they all zoom off down 42nd Street. It was crazy!
–14th & 7th
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Canadian girl, about Project Runway: It really irritates me every time she says ‘auf Wiedersehen.’ I mean, get over yourself.
American girl: Yeah, that’s how we feel every time you say ‘Kraft dinner.’
–1 train
Girl buying coffee, coughing: I hate this throat. It’s a piece of shit!
Guy buying Red Bull: You know what helps with that?
Girl: Please don’t say ‘cock’ again.
Guy, flustered and laughing: What I was going to say was ‘cough syrup.’
Male cashier, laughing: $8.98’s your change.
–Christopher St
Girl with big hair: It was absolutely crazy.
Friend: I bet it was.
Girl with big hair: It was so messed up. Seriously, it was totally banana-whacked.
Friend: She’s banana-whacked. She’s a banana-whacked slut.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Juliet
Little kid: The sss…
Mother: The Sneetches.
Little kid: Sneetches and uhhh…
Mother: Other.
Little kid: Other sss…
Mother: Stories by Dr. Seuss.
Little kid: Seuss is dead.
–Outside Babbo’s Books
Health student #1: It’s a man’s obligation to stick his boneration in a women’s separation to increase the population of the younger generation. I got this information from the board of education…
Health student #2: No, it should go like this: It’s a man’s obligation to stick his cockulation into a women’s ventilation to increase the population of the younger generation of our nation. I got this information from the board of education. If you want a demonstration, lie down.
–Middle school, Manhattan
Overheard by: Nathan Red
Texting guy: Hey, I tried to type ‘nipple pasties,’ and the phone knew the word ‘pasties’!
Friend: … Why are you texting ‘nipple pasties’?
–Wyckoff & Stanhope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: smh
Preteen boy to another: Yo, he kilt that dude on the court!
Adult chaperone: ‘Kilt’?
Preteen boy: Killed.
Adult chaperone: And what is ‘kilt’?
Preteen boys, in chorus: A vernacular term.
Adult chaperone: That ain’t English.
–8th Ave-bound L train
Overheard by: i seize teaching opportunities too
Student: Um, sir, don’t you have to divide through by X?
Elderly math teacher: I have no idea what you just said, but I’m sure it was provocative.
–Stuyvesant High
