Professor: You should really consider going to Europe. It may be boring, but it’s cheap!
Ghetto girl in back: Fuck that shit! I’d rather go to Disney!
Professor: Europe is actually less expensive to go to than Disney.
Ghetto girl: Yeah, but only if you stay in a brothel!
Ghetto boy: Don’t you mean ‘hostel’?
Ghetto girl: Same thing, right?
–Fordham University-Rose Hill
Overheard by: Megan
Excited suit: … So it was like ‘Bang, bang, bang!’ A whole gang of managers was driving the stock down!
60-something suit: Hmmm. Gangbang?
–200 Park Ave
Overheard by: Can’t Believe I Butt Her
20-ish guy to friends: Talk about sweat — I never swat so much in my life!
–Bleecker & MacDougal
Blonde: I’m not a naysayer! I’m not! I’m a yes-sayer… An ambiguous answer-sayer…
–Union Square
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Bimbette: Oh my god, I was dramatized! I couldn’t even look at him.
–Staten Island Ferry
Suit: I just walked into Barnes and Nizzle to take a wizzle.
–Barnes & Noble, 22nd St
Guy to friend: If the Yankees win the first two, it’ll be a swept.
–Rockefeller Center
Paint department clerk to customer: Do you want interior or outerior?
–Home Depot, Brooklyn
Supermarket cashier: I was actually valedictorian in high school, and I wore four-inch heels to graduation. And surprise, surprise — I falled.
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Teen #1: Fuck, man. Fuck.. Fuck!
Old black lady: Respect yourself — you better respect yourself.
Teen #2: [Mumbles.]Old black lady: What did you say?! Oh, I thought so. This is why they created more prisons — just for you.
–Q train
Suit #1: We don’t know where we’re going… Keep going straight?
Suit #2: We’ll figure something out…
Suit #1, two stops later: You want to get off, or go one more?
Suit #2: Let’s keep going — roll the dice.
–F train
Overheard by: Xavier
American: Americans call the last letter in the alphabet ‘zee,’ but in Britain they call it ‘zed.’
Swede: Oh! That’s why Jay-Z is pronounced ‘Jay Zee’ and not ‘Jay Zed’!
–JFK
30-something mom: Here we are. Here we are. Get it? Here we arrre.
Five-year-old daughter: That’s a good one, Mommy.
–R train station, Union St
Overheard by: Tacologic
Annoyed white girl: That cop with the flashlight was, like, shining it on my ass! So I was like, ‘Stop! I know my congressional rights, bitch!’
–Bus from Live Earth to Port Authority
Overheard by: Kevin
20-ish guy on cell: Yeah… Yeah, I talked to the cops, too! I told them I would kick her fucking jaw in if I didn’t get my money! Ma… Yeah, Ma, you know I don’t care!
–Thompson St, between W 3rd & Bleecker
Overheard by: The Simian Space Man
Conductor over intercom: Either we can have a peaceful ride uptown, or the police can ride with us. You decide [laughs maniacally].
–2 train
Overheard by: Ladle
[Hippie on bicycle loses concentration and crashes into lamppost.]
Cop in nearby squad car, over loudspeaker: Hahaha! Should’ve been more careful, or what?!
–42nd & 8th
Overheard by: Susan Laura
Chick: So, I’m up by Bryant Park, and there are all these cop cars lined up, and then one of them decides, ‘Okay, time to go!’ and he puts his siren on and pulls out, and all the rest of them following, all their sirens going whoop-buppa-whoop-whoop! And then I hear something that sounds like some guy going ‘whoop-buppa-whoop-whoop’ — like, he’s making siren noises — and I turn around, and there’s this cop… I guess the siren on his cop car wasn’t working or something, so he’s on the loudspeaker mic yelling, ‘Whoop-buppa-whoop-whoop!’ as they all zoom off down 42nd Street. It was crazy!
–14th & 7th
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Canadian girl, about Project Runway: It really irritates me every time she says ‘auf Wiedersehen.’ I mean, get over yourself.
American girl: Yeah, that’s how we feel every time you say ‘Kraft dinner.’
–1 train
Girl buying coffee, coughing: I hate this throat. It’s a piece of shit!
Guy buying Red Bull: You know what helps with that?
Girl: Please don’t say ‘cock’ again.
Guy, flustered and laughing: What I was going to say was ‘cough syrup.’
Male cashier, laughing: $8.98’s your change.
–Christopher St
