Woman: You don’t remember me, do you?
Older man: Your face looks familiar…
Woman: You saw me running down the street naked last weekend.
Older man: Why would I remember your face, then?
–Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Overheard by: Lauren
Woman: You don’t remember me, do you?
Older man: Your face looks familiar…
Woman: You saw me running down the street naked last weekend.
Older man: Why would I remember your face, then?
–Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Overheard by: Lauren
Ghetto black chick: I’m Hillary Clinton! Where my niggas at?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: arose
30-ish black woman: She can tell me what book to buy… She can recommend a good bra… But Oprah telling me who to vote for? I don’t think so!
–42nd & 8th
Overheard by: JoBell
Guido: I would blow Al Sharpton to be in my bed right now. I would caress Hillary Clinton’s asshole to be in my bed right now.
–F train
Overheard by: dat wint’ry mix
Hot chick: I mean, I love Bill Clinton, and I would have slept with him even last week, but he’s gone crazy!
–11th & 4th, Park Slope
Overheard by: bemused obama guy
Hobo: Hello! I am running for president! Vote for me and I’ll legalize marijuana! You can marry whoever you wanna!
–Deli, 12th & 6th
Overheard by: Nora, Bianca, and Ethan
Middle-aged white lady: Go Obama! Go Obama! I don’t know what he stands for, but I sure like to look at him!
–31st & Ditmars, Astoria
Overheard by: Scarfish
Black woman to male friend: I just find it ironic that a woman and a black man are running… And I’m going with the white guy.
–Café Mogador, East Village
Fish guy: Yeah, my dad died of colon cancer in 2001.
Blonde: Oh, how’s he doing?
–Grocery store, Astoria
Overheard by: Dustin
Headline by: Mr. Gee
Runners-Up:
· “‘Great Listener’ Is On Her Resumee” – Denny
· “Decomposing Quite Nicely, Thank You for Asking” – RBNY
· “I’d Say His Condition Is Stable” – Tadzio
· “Rolling Over About Now” – Kaitlen
· “Rotting, No Doubt” – Katy
· “Well, Mom Won’t Share a Bed with Him Anymore.” – Cassie
· “Worst Pick-up, Best Blow-off” – halfknot
Preteen girl on bike #1: Do you know which way we’re going?
Preteen girl on bike #2: This is 30th Avenue… Let’s go this way [points toward 43rd Street].
Preteen girl on bike #1: No! Don’t go down that street! That’s the sexual predator block!
–43rd St & Newtown Rd, Astoria
Overheard by: what do they know that i don’t?
Little girl: Mom! Mom! I’m so scared! I just saw the scariest thing!
Mother: What is it? What’s wrong?
Little girl: I saw two men kissing!
–Pizzeria Uno’s, Astoria
Geek: I feel like a douche.
Chick: Seriously, if you ever feel like a dork go to any Blockbuster, look at the employees, and you’ll see how cool you are.
–31st & 21st
Overheard by: deltachub
Woman on stoop: Ugh, I hate kids.
Mom of playing children: You have four of them!
Woman on stoop: Oh, I got rid of those.
–Broadway, Astoria
Overheard by: melissa
Girl: I want to fuck you when I’m drunk.
Guy: I just want to fuck you.
Girl: I just want you to be taller.
–Astoria Beer Garden
Asian girl #1: So Alicia is, like, half-Portuguese because her mom is Portuguese.
Asian girl #2: I thought she was Brazilian…
Asian girl #1: Yeah, Brazilian. And her dad is Italian. Like from Italy. He’s, like, a hundred percent.
Asian girl #2: Wow.
Asian girl #1: I know! It’s, like, unbelievable.
–Astoria
