Late-20’s woman #1: I think it’s time to get, like, a serious job.
Late-20’s woman #2: Good, you definitely should.
Late-20’s woman #1: So, I think I am going to apply for a job at Urban Outfitters!
–LIRR platform, Long Beach line
Overheard by: skilla
Girl: I think Elvis died on my birthday…No, wait, Elvis died on Madonna’s birthday. Why do I always get that confused?
–36th St
Geeky guy: Dudes, we are staying at the Bellagio. That gives us instant credibility.
–Jet Blue Terminal, JFK
Overheard by: Dungy
Guy: All we’re gonna do anyway is drink in my basement. Fuckin’ suburbia.
–W 4th & Mercer
Teen girl: And he was like, “You people from Connecticut, all you ever do is drink cocktails and text-message each other.”
–Uptown 2 train
Ditzy girl: It’s like…like the herbal tea of beers.
–House of Brews, 51st & 8th
Overheard by: Just Trying to Watch the Game in Peace
Teenage guy: Dude, you can’t get married. You’re going to college. There’s gonna be a lot of girls and beer. Every day.
–Middletown Rd & Crosby Ave, the Bronx
Overheard by: christine
Girl on phone: What do you mean she’s not drunk yet?
–Mo Pitkins, 2nd St & Ave A
Overheard by: sarah
Guy: We’re going to strap the beer to the dog, and go down to the Ho Chi Minh Trail, and camp out by the railroad tracks.
–Ave A
Overheard by: Cory
Guy: I would rather be poor and not famous than famous and poor…I drank a lot today, but I am not drunk.
–7 train
Guy on phone: Did you do her?…Mazel Tov…Was she drunk?
–Lobby, Cardozo School of Law
College girl #1: So, like, if you know anyone who, like, needs, like, anyone to do, like, anything for money, I’m totally desperate.
College girl #2: Oh, for sure! I’ll totally let you know!
–St. Mark’s, between 2rd and 3nd
Teen girl: You know, they should have wet t-shirt contests but with legs.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Katwoman
Loud girl: I was like, “That’s totally unfair! You can’t pray that prayer! That’s the story of my life.”
–Outside Delacorte Theater, Central Park
Overheard by: Helen V.
Guy: She’s just a friend I fuck. And she has a boyfriend.
Girl: Who sleeps with prostitutes who give him genital warts.
Guy: Shhhh.
–Astoria-bound N train
Overheard by: effie
Lady: Ewww! It smells like someone made a dump!
Bum shrugs.
–Queens Blvd, Forest Hills
Girl #1: I hate gushing blood. Gross.
Girl #2: Yeah, and retarded people
Girl #3: Yeah, retarded people scare me
Girl #2: ‘Cause you’ll never know what they’re gonna do, ’cause they’re retarded.
–KFC, King’s Highway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Veronika
Girl: You’re like McDonald’s: over one billion served!
Guy: So what does that make you: an extra value meal?
–7th & B
