Six-year old boy: Mom, what’s that?
Loud mother in cheery voice: That’s your prostate!
–Bodies exhibit, South St Seaport
Overheard by: Diana B
Six-year old boy: Mom, what’s that?
Loud mother in cheery voice: That’s your prostate!
–Bodies exhibit, South St Seaport
Overheard by: Diana B
Construction worker #1: It’s all saggy.
Construction worker #2: And bouncing and shit.
Construction worker #1: Get a fucking girdle!
–Mercer St & Washington Pl
Overheard by: Renee B.
Teen guy: You are the most unashamed person I’ve ever met.
Teen girl: Yeah, just don’t start talking about opening my openings again.
–5 train
Overheard by: dara
Black girl: My daddy says I can’t fight her because she’s pregnant.
Wigger chick: Her face ain’t pregnant, is it?
–Subway bathroom, 4th & 6th
Man on cell: Dude, don’t worry about it — your urethra is only two inches long.
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: LC
Skinny, sour-faced guy: Would you mind not clapping so loud? It hurts my ears.
–Big Apple Circus
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
College guy to friend: It’s just your body saying no, but after a while it stops.
–NYU dorm
20-something dude: My parents don’t think I am responsible enough to move to the city ever since I cut my fingers off.
–28th & 3rd
Conductor: I can’t move this train if you hangin’ halfway out of it. Move all the way in when the doors close. [Doors start to close, fail.] All the way in means no legs, arms, or asses be hangin’ out no doors!
–6 train, 77th St stop
Tween #1: Wow, that’s cute! He was gonna eat her booger for a hand job?
Tween #2: It was, like, a monster booger…
–Montague & Henry St, Brooklyn Heights
Little boy: What is that?
Mom: That’s a brain.
Little boy: Evil brain?
Mom: No, it’s not evil.
–Bodies Exhibit, South St Seaport
Pilot on intercom: This is a non-smoking flight. Please do not smoke until… ever. Smoking is bad for you.
–American Airlines flight
Ghetto mom to lady with cigarette: Bitch, you just ashed on my baby!
–Outside Times Square Toys ‘R’ Us
Overheard by: trying not to ash on the stroller myself
Professor arguing with student: I’m just giving you a hard time. I accidentally bought the low-dose Nicotine gum, and it’s just not cutting it.
–100 Washington Sq East
Little girl: Mommy, you know how it’s cool to wear black? Maybe having black lungs is cool, too!
–Bodies Exhibit, South St Seaport
Conductor: As a reminder, there is no smoking allowed in the train restrooms. We know who you are.
–Amtrak Acela approaching Penn Station
Overheard by: wasn’t me
Red-faced white guy: Augh! I was just so mad at him! I couldn’t take it anymore. I hate that guy so much! I want to bust him in his face and take all his teeth. I’d grind ’em up and smoke them. Smoke his teeth right there in front of him.
–PATH, 9th St
Overheard by: Zenana
Chick: I think I’m going to take up smoking in order to make friends.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Windbreaker guy: So, we go to dinner, and she tells me I’m boring, that we never do anything different.
Tweed blazer guy: So, what are you going to do?
Windbreaker guy: Next time we have sex I’m going to pull out and ejaculate on her feet.
–79th & Broadway
Man to fat lady holding up traffic on the stairs: Excuse me, ma’am. Do you need a hand?
Fat lady: Do I need a hand? Yeah, I need a hand, a foot, an arm, a leg… Shit, nigga, I need a mink coat!
–Subway exit stairs, 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Anna Wolinsky
