Wailing six-year-old boy: But whyyy?!
Mom: Well, I know, honey, but kick him in the shins, don’t kick him in the balls!
–Prince & Broadway
Wailing six-year-old boy: But whyyy?!
Mom: Well, I know, honey, but kick him in the shins, don’t kick him in the balls!
–Prince & Broadway
Teen boy: Mom, is it true that some people are both a man and a woman?
Mom: Yes. Well, sort of. Can we talk about this when we get home?
Teen boy: So does that mean they have, like, both–
Mom: –Yes, honey, now be quiet for a little while, okay?
Teen boy: Does that mean they can, like, do the slinky?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N
Hobo: Spare a dollar?
B&T chick: Ew, no.
Hobo: … You have nice legs?
B&T chick: Still, no.
–Grand Central
Six-year old boy: Mom, what’s that?
Loud mother in cheery voice: That’s your prostate!
–Bodies exhibit, South St Seaport
Overheard by: Diana B
Construction worker #1: It’s all saggy.
Construction worker #2: And bouncing and shit.
Construction worker #1: Get a fucking girdle!
–Mercer St & Washington Pl
Overheard by: Renee B.
Teen guy: You are the most unashamed person I’ve ever met.
Teen girl: Yeah, just don’t start talking about opening my openings again.
–5 train
Overheard by: dara
Black girl: My daddy says I can’t fight her because she’s pregnant.
Wigger chick: Her face ain’t pregnant, is it?
–Subway bathroom, 4th & 6th
Man on cell: Dude, don’t worry about it — your urethra is only two inches long.
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: LC
Skinny, sour-faced guy: Would you mind not clapping so loud? It hurts my ears.
–Big Apple Circus
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
College guy to friend: It’s just your body saying no, but after a while it stops.
–NYU dorm
20-something dude: My parents don’t think I am responsible enough to move to the city ever since I cut my fingers off.
–28th & 3rd
Conductor: I can’t move this train if you hangin’ halfway out of it. Move all the way in when the doors close. [Doors start to close, fail.] All the way in means no legs, arms, or asses be hangin’ out no doors!
–6 train, 77th St stop
Tween #1: Wow, that’s cute! He was gonna eat her booger for a hand job?
Tween #2: It was, like, a monster booger…
–Montague & Henry St, Brooklyn Heights
Little boy: What is that?
Mom: That’s a brain.
Little boy: Evil brain?
Mom: No, it’s not evil.
–Bodies Exhibit, South St Seaport
