Clothing

When I Graduated 5th Grade, I Was Rewarded with Implants

Young teen boy: She obviously must wear push-up bras, cause sometimes it's big and sometimes it's smaller!
Young teen girl: I wore push-up bras in like, 5th grade. But once you start wearing them you can't stop, cause then everyone will know! But I don't need them anymore, I caught up.

–F Train

Overheard by: TheKatiedidntwearpushupsin5thgrade…

Headline by: Fresca

Runners-Up:
· “But I’m Still Wearing Pull-Ups Panties” – JohnnyB
· “No Boobies Left Behind Is Working Splendidly for American Youth” – rachel
· “Overheard at Dolly Parton Junior High School” – Vasyl
· “Somewhere There’s a Salvation Army Stocked with Wonderbras…” – RaRa
· “What You Call “Catching Up” Everyone Else Calls “Augmentation Surgery”” – If I can touch em.

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

The Mexican Hairless Made Her Bald

Chick #1: I can’t wear wool, it gives me a rash…My mom likes argyle.
Chick #2: Isn’t that a kind of wool?
Chick #1: I don’t know. I used to have an argyle cat, and it didn’t make me itch, so maybe not.

–K-mart, East 8th Street

Who Let the Tigers Out?

Girl #1: Do you think my boobs look bad?
Girl #2: No, not at all.
Girl #1: But are they, like, saggy?
Girl #2: No, they look good. But if you’re so worried, why don’t you start wearing a bra or something?
Girl #1: God, next thing you’ll tell me to wear underwear.

–Telephone Bar & Grill, 2nd Avenue

Overheard in New York: The Movie

Girl: I am glad you don’t think she’s prettier than me.
Guy: What? She is like, trailer trash.
Girl: No, she’s really pretty.
Guy: What are you talking about? She is some lady they found in the parking lot by the garbage. They were like, “Hey lady, we will give you $20 to do this.”
Girl: …she is like, the American standard of beauty.
Guy: She is a dumpster-diving prostitute!

–Access Digital Theatres, Prospect Park

Overheard by: matt stohrer

Guy: Can I just say, maybe Zorro shouldn’t be the first American movie you see.

–83rd & Broadway

Little boy: Why didn’t Harry Potter just take a shotgun and blow that guy’s head off?

–Loews Kips Bay Theatre, 2nd Avenue

Overheard by: Mark Schilsky

Girl #1: Shh! I can’t hear what he’s saying!
Girl #2: Bitch, you read the book already!

–DGA Theater, West 57th Street

Black chick #1: Girl, he so fine.
Black chick #2: Mmm…
Queer: Yes, we all know he’s fine, but shut the fuck up!

–AMC Empire 25, West 42nd Street

Overheard by: Scott Hoffman

Girl: So for the last half-hour of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants I couldn’t stop crying. Then everybody in the theater turned around and laughed at me.

–Waverly & Mercer

Overheard by: Stu

Guy #1: You still fixing vans for that production house?
Guy #2: Yeah, I even got in a movie. Check me out in Prime; it’s with Uma Thurman. I’m in it for like 20 seconds playing basketball on the street with a red do-rag. I was like 30 pounds heavier then; I just got out of jail.

–DMV, Greenwich Street

Overheard by: Anthony Bloodsucker

Black woman: All these assholes going to the movies…Lowest common denominator!

–Loews Lincoln Square ladies’ room, West 68th Street

Overheard by: Amanda K

Girl: I heard there’s an Asian girl in the new Harry Potter.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So they are branching out.
Guy: Yeah…but she is kinda big.

–Beard Papa’s, Broadway & Astor

Overheard by: sim choo

Girl: I am dating two different guys with kids and no one will take me to see Harry Potter. Now that‘s fucked up.

–Eatery, 9th Avenue

Overheard by: Mike

Suit: I think you would really like As Good As It Gets.
Woman: Is that the one with Jennifer Aniston?
Suit: No, it’s Helen Keller.

–75th & 3rd

Overheard by: Aaron Hotfelder

America’s Next Top Meteorologists

Eva Pigford: I’m even wearing a bra and I’m still cold.

–Madison between 28th & 29th

Chick #1: Yeah, and the grasshoppers caused Hurricane Katrina.
Chick #2: Did they really?
Chick #3: Right, of course they did.

–Fordham University, Rose Hill

Overheard by: hockeygurl

She’ll Never Make it to Banana Republic

Woman: Are these shirts still buy one, get one free?
Cashier lady: Um, I have no idea. Let me check.

She goes check signs and asks managers.

Cashier lady: No, they’re not. I’m not sure they ever were buy one, get one free.
Woman: Oh, I was just kidding. I wanted to see what you would say. I figured it was worth a shot.
Cashier lady: Oh, well thanks for making me walk all over the store for no reason.
Woman: That’s how you get success, honey.

–The Gap, 18th & 5th

This Gay Slang Gets Really Odd Really Quick

Woman #1: So I organized my closet–
Woman #2: Ohmigod, I love that! It’s like a natural high! Did you put things in boxes?
Woman #1: No, bags.
Woman #2: Ohmigod! Did you label them?
Woman #1: Yeah, I put stickers on them.
Woman #2: Ohmigod, that’s great!

–14th & Broadway

Overheard by: Anastasia

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