Fire truck loudspeaker to tourists blocking entrance: Please clear the area unless you want to end up as roadkill.
–WTC Site, Liberty Street
Fire truck loudspeaker to tourists blocking entrance: Please clear the area unless you want to end up as roadkill.
–WTC Site, Liberty Street
Guy: Dead girls? Come on. I’m afraid of real girls. Dead girls are even scarier.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Carrie
Guy: …he’s still living that zombie-turtle lifestyle…
–14th between University & 5th
Overheard by: Joe Strike
Lady on cell: …so we were at this goth club and I moonwalked into someone…
–72nd & Columbus
Woman: I wouldn’t fit in this even if I was cremated.
–Macy’s
Overheard by: kathy duby
Man: If it wasn’t for his suicide, Terry and I would never have met.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Rick Segall
Hobo #1: Hey, man! I thought you were dead!
Hobo #2: Dead where?
–Washington Square Park
20 year-old guy: What if the afterlife and hell exists? I mean if it does, there has to be a society because billions of people would be there by now.
Friend: Yeah…
20 year-old: So that's a lot of people, like a society has to emerge since there can't be that many demons and torturers. You would have like a McDonald's and people working there. (pause) But you could be working there, and it could be every day for an eternity.
Friends: That's so much worse than hell.
–New Jersey Transit, Port Authority Bus Terminal
American guy: All the buildings in New York City are made with brick. No steel. So if there's an earthquake, we're all dead.
Foreign guy: No steel?
American guy: No steel. All brick. If there's an earthquake, we're all dead.
(foreign guy giggles hysterically)
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Crazy old lady to young clerk: Whatsa matter, you don’t like old ladies? If I was forty years younger, I would eat you up like an, like an apple. [to older clerk] C’mere gimme a kiss. C’mon gimme a kiss. What are you, scared? I’d have you laying out in my funeral parlour in a pine box. What do you think if we skinned the knish? They’ll wrap you in sheet and ship you back to Yemen. You want to ride the bull with me? You’ll decide you love America.
–Grand & Bushwick, Williamsburg
Merchant Marine guy #1: Did you hear that there are like 75 swiss cheese deaths a year?
Merchant Marine guy #2: What? What do you mean?
Merchant Marine guy #1: It’s really rare, but sometimes there is a chemical reaction and the cheese blows up in people’s stomachs.
Merchant Marine guy #2: That has to be the worst death ever.
Merchant Marine guy #1: Or the best if the guy really loves cheese.
–LIRR
Woman: You need to swim as much as possible to keep the evil away.
–Riverbank State Park
Guy: Don’t they have a special section for people in jail?
–Hallmark, 23rd Street
Overheard by: nj
Grandfather: If you don’t listen, I’m never taking you anyplace else dangerous again.
–Belvedere Castle
Guy: Yeah, I had to put my foot down. I decided it’s not okay for my kids to play with firearms anymore.
–4 train
Suit on cell: Blood is very, very chic.
–85th & Lexington
Overheard by: Harri
Guy on cell: How should I know who’s going to be there?…Why do you care who’s going to be there? It’s a funeral, not a fucking social event.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Ciaran
Woman on cell: Dude, I have a shagadelic aura, because they fucked all night when they were here. That’s why I sold them.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Selenay
Suit: Man, I was upstate last week, fuck that clean air shit.
–62nd & Columbus
Overheard by: Tabitha
Guy: We’re all Cannabis. We get the chance, we’ll eat each other.
–Kudo Beans, 1st Avenue
Queer: Oh, I forgot to fucking tell you. I sold my soul for $150.
–Christopher Street
Girl: What happens to the leaves if you just leave them on the ground? They just die, right?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Vera Farrelly
Male 30-something lawyer: I'm looking forward to this weekend. Me and my girlfriend are going camping.
Male 50-something lawyer: The only thing I have left to look forward to is a quick, painless death.
Male 30-something lawyer: Have you ever been camping?
–Livingston St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Big Larry
