Asian guy: She’s crazy. She’s obsessed with death!
Pudgy White guy: But she’s hot.
Black guy: So what?
Pudgy White guy: Yeah, she’s crazy…but she’s hot. They kind of balance each other out, you know?
–F train
Overheard by: emdashes
Boyfriend: What about kitty?
Girlfriend: Oh, I could eat kitty. No really, I could make a great stir-fry with the cat.
Boyfriend: You would eat my cat?
Girlfriend: Ah, that would be a great way to get at you: eat your cat.
–St. Mark’s Place
Guy #1: You’ll figure it out when you move here…it’s like, I opened my first electic bill and said, “Wow, I really live in New York now!”
Guy #2: Right, it’s like when you’re killing someone with an axe, and you’re just hacking, and hacking, and hacking, and some blood splashes on your face and you’re like, “Oh yeah, I’m murdering someone!”
–E train
Overheard by: Kid W
Woman: Well, you know what I think? I think that the girlfriend has to die.
–Hudson Street elevator
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Guy on cell: Yeah, the dude got shot in the face. Isn’t that awesome?
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: toon
Guy on cell: Yeah, well, I wipe asses just like you do…only metaphorically.
–William Street & Maiden Lane
Overheard by: shawn mac
Rich lady: When I die, scatter my ashes over Bloomingdale’s.
–Neue Gallerie, 86th & 5th
Overheard by: Emily
Peddler: That piece down there was made from an Apple computer box. Forget the painting; I mean, just the box is gorgeous. I have a bit of a cardboard box fetish.
–Spring & Broadway
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Woman on cell: So he was like, “Why are we taking a cab? It’s only 4 or 5 blocks. I know you like exercise. You go to the gym every day.” And I was like, “I only exercise the way God intended…on a treadmill.” I mean, whatever! Right?
–54th & Park
Overheard by: kittikat
Old lady #1: Here she comes now.
Old lady #2: I’ll be dead by the time she gets here.
Old lady #3: She’s not moving too fast.
Their friend arrives.
Old lady #1: Aren’t you dead yet?
–5th Ave. & 9th St.
Girl: One of my favorite stories is about my dead friend Kim.
Guy: Oh, I love the dead Kim stories.
–Dos Cominos, Park Ave South
Overheard by: Scott
Guy #1: I don’t care about the goddamn pope anymore! What is it, it’s on the front page of every paper. Who cares?
Guy #2: I know, he’s going to die in a few years anyway.
–20th & 7th
Overheard by: Tom
Middle-aged woman: I just refilled my metrocard with $60.
Old woman: Really? I never put that much money on my card. I only put about $20 each time. What if I die? The money on that card will just sit there.
–M20 bus
Overheard by: Beatriz Vidal
Queer on cell: Yah, well, Terri Schiavo died this week, and so did the Pope. So it’s been a pretty good week.
–Chumley’s, Bedford Street
Overheard by: Initials
Girl on cell: Fuckety fuck fuck, I forgot to put on a tampon this morning. Shit, shit, shit! I’m screwed, Lizette, I’m screwed.
–Bensonhurst
Girl on cell: Don’t walk in the blood! Don’t walk in the blood! Oh ah aah!…Thanks lady, thanks for walking in the blood.
–Essex & Rivington
Overheard by: Nicole A.
Old Guy #1: Oh, he’s probably dead. That other guy too. What was his name?
Old Guy #2: And his friend, that writer. Haven’t seen him around either.
Old Guy #1: Do you remember that guy that used to play chess with you?
Old Guy #2: Yeah.
Old Guy #1: I just found out he’s dead too.
Old Guy #2: The city’s changing.
–9th St. between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Alex Romanovich
Woman, 40s: So why did he shoot himself?
Guy, 40s: I guess he must’ve been depressed.
–2 train
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
