B&T chick: What I really liked about this guy is that he could write his name in cocaine. And underline it.
–Grand Central food court
Overheard by: Nathan K. Claus
Guy: All I want is for my relatives to die in a certain order.
–University Ave, Bronx
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Wife: Do whatever you want…it’s not my mother who died!
–JFK
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: Have you heard of this play Medea?
Not-so-scary Punk Teenage Guy: Yeah, that’s a good play. Have you heard of Arthur Miller?
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: Who?
Not-so-scary Punk Teenage Guy: Arthur Miller. He wrote Death of a Salesman.
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: No.
Not-so-scary Punk Teenage Guy: Oh, he died last week. He was 89.
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: Wow, that’s terrible. I didn’t even know that and I deliver newspapers.
–They Might Be Giants in-store, Border’s, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Monica
Construction worker: …it was like, the biggest skull ever found or
some shit.
–44th & Madison
Teenage girl: I failed the math test so I told Ma I ain’t gonna graduate in June. I ain’t gotta do anything but stay black and die.
–6 train
Man: I never met a necrophiliac, but my friend met one at Bellevue.
–La Grolla, UWS
Black guy: …it’s an endangered species! It must be preserved in a museum!
–Westway Diner, 9th Ave.
20-something woman on cell: Did I tell you mom got into a fight with a raccoon again? (pause) Yeah, I know, our mom is totally going to die of rabies.
–Starbucks, West Village
Overheard by: Vaccinated for rabies
Guy to another: Flap your wings baby, just flap your wings!
–Broadway
Woman, shouting at no one in particular: You know I'm unstoppable! I'm like an ox!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
NYU girl: My mother was like, "what would you do with a giant inflatable turkey?" and I was like, "what wouldn't you do with a giant inflatable turkey?"
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Mickey
Guy: Dude…did I ever tell you about that time I died?
Friend: What?
–Union Square
Girl #1: So, like, how does the story end?
Girl #2: I think they all get guillotined.
—Marie Antoinette showing, Clearview’s Chelsea Cinema
Overheard by: Barbie and Bernie
Dude #1: It’s not that I have a moral objection to the death penalty. I just don’t think it should be the government making the decision.
Dude #2: Would you prefer an angry mob?
–122nd & Amsterdam
