Girl #1: Okay so like, I wasn’t going to tell you guys but Ed* and I really did have sex last night… I was lying on the phone.
Girl #2: But we knew that already! Ed* called me crying this morning because he thought he took advantage of you.
Girl #3: Ok… this is weird.
–9th St & 5th Ave
Very gay guy #1: What are you doing now?
Very gay guy #2: I'm heading home. My ex-wife is meeting me there to sign the divorce papers. She doesn't even know I'm gay yet.
–Spring & Broadway
Tourist: Excuse me, but could you please tell me the time?
New Yorker: What do I look like? Big fuckin' Ben or somethin'?
–Broadway
Male student #1: It’s not easy.
Male student #2: Nothing is easy. (pause) Some things are simple.
Male student #1: Oh, sure.
Male student #2: But nothing is easy. (pause) I have no idea where I’m going.
–NYU Campus
Overheard by: zelda
White girl #1: Do you dance hip hop?
White girl #2: I'm too white for that.
White girl #3: I can dance and I'm white.
White girl #2: But you're Russian? Russian people don't have any black people.
–32nd & 5th Ave
Aaron: D’you remember that show when Duffy was married to Suzanne Somers?
Friend: (pissed) Aaron! Get it through your head, bro. I fucking hate Patrick Duffy.
Aaron: Who the fuck hates Patrick Duffy? That’s like hating the dad from Boy Meets World.
Friend: Are you fucking serious right now?
–45th & 3rd
Overheard by: AdHoculi
Coat check girl: Last night Michael came in my eye and it was all puffy and red.
Stripper: Why did he do that?
Coat check: He said he didn’t mean it. Usually he goes for my nostrils or my ear. We couldn’t go out for dinner for two hours until it died down.
Stripper: Wow.
–Strip Club
Overheard by: rory
Homeless panhandler: Good afternoon, I’m homeless and I want at least one Asian to give me some change.
Black woman giving slight sigh of relief: Well that doesn’t include me! He don’t want my change then!
–F Train
Overheard by: WBR
Girl on date: If nothing else, I have morals!
Guy on date: You have dumbness.
–Local, 53rd & 2nd
Mom: Yeah, he said trannies really aren’t his thing, so I guess we’ll have to ask someone else.
Daughter: Wait, what?
Mom: You know, transmissions. Why, what did you think?
Daughter: Ummm…
–JFK
Overheard by: trooshieb
