Big black guy #1: Yo, does anybody know where we get off to go uptown?
White passenger: The next stop.
Big back guy #1: Yo, everyone shut up and listen to the white nigga! He’s givin’ us directions!
Big black guy #2: Ain’t no such thing as a white nigga, fool!
–F Train
Dude #1: Lots of people tell me I’m the gayest straight man they know.
Dude #2: Mmmm… No, I know a gayer straight guy than you.
–F station, Bergen St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy #1, shocked, and loud: Wow, so it fills your whole body with sperm?!
Guy #2, pondering: You know, I’m not quite sure how it works.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Pt Photo
Little boy, seeing long line for movie tickets: I’m not waiting! This line is too long!
Mom: You have to learn to wait in lines… God, you complain more than a pregnant woman.
–Brooklyn
Chick #1: I mean, I guess he thought I was being annoying and stuff — calling him, telling him to come to this fun party, asking him to come downstairs and stuff.
Chick #2: Well, did he ever come downstairs?
Chick #1: Nah, he was fucking some bitch upstairs. But I guess the party was fun… for him.
–E train
Overheard by: City Girl
Tourist: New York City is the only place in the country that does not have right on red. It doesn't make sense.
Impatient New Yorker chick: Because you'd never get off the sidewalk.
Tourist (in a condescending way): Lady, right on red is for cars. Not for people. (rolls eyes)
–42nd & Broadway
Old lady walking with tiny dog, arm extended: Taxi! Taxi! Goddamn it! Taxi! We have to get out of here now! Taxi!
Nearby doorman: I'll hail you a cab, ma'am.
Old lady: You shut your dirty mouth!
–64th & York
Overheard by: Nora
Teen girl #1: Man… I really need some hair gel.
Teen girl #2: This morning, my mom told me I was too fat to go to prom.
–Bathroom, Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: thivnav
Guy who just managed to squeeze onto the train: There no room here.
Girl trying to get on the train: I didn’t ask for no attitude.
Guy: You’re too fat.
–1 Train
Overheard by: DL
Girl #1: I think the subway is, like, the Disney Monorail of New York City.
Girl #2: Yeah, but underground… Wow, I never thought of it like that!
–N Train
Overheard by: Lauryn McC.
