Junkie lady to junkie guy: Get your hands out of your pockets! No pocket pool!
–22nd & Park Ave South
Overheard by: Damian
Junkie lady to junkie guy: Get your hands out of your pockets! No pocket pool!
–22nd & Park Ave South
Overheard by: Damian
Crackhead girl: I said excuse me, man! Get the fuck outta my way!
Guy: Geez…
Crackhead girl: And you better fix your zipper before I take your penis!
–4 train
Overheard by: iliveherebutstilllooklikeatourist
Junkie: Hey. Hey. What’s with all the ones? Are you a stripper? [Busy guy on phone doesn’t reply.] Hey, I’m talking to you! [Busy guy is oblivious, so junkie addresses bar] You know what? Nothing is worse than being ignored! You know what?! I used to fuck guys like him in prison!
–The Nancy Whiskey Pub
Overheard by: Definitely Not Ignoring Him
Girl: Do you wanna do ‘shrooms with me?
Guy: No way, man. I don’t do drugs.
Girl: But drugs are awesome!
Guy: How about this — since there’s nothing more awesome than you, you can be my drug.
Girl: And then you can do me!
Guy: Okay… Well, that’s not really where I was going with that, but alright.
Girl: Wow, shows you where my head is at.
–86th & Broadway
Chick: I hooked up with everyone. I even hooked up with my dealer.
Dude: Yeah, you did.
Chick: But I had to break up — he was too thuggish.
–1 train
Panhandler: I scored 50 bucks off those assholes today.
Drug dealer: Sweet. You wanna buy some pot?
Panhandler: Yup. Gimme 50 bucks worth.
–St. John’s Pl & Underhill Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: someone who always suspected this
Junkie girl: Hey… Can you watch my stuff? My friend is overdosing.
Drunk guy: Ummm, I guess…
Junkie girl: There’s a can of beans in it for you.
Drunk guy: Do you have a can opener?
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: C
Hipster: Why you wearin’ such a big hat?
Junkie wearing top hat: It’s not just a hat — it’s a port-a-potty.
–E Houston near Broadway
Overheard by: Big Larry
Hobo #1: Hey, that cell phone you sold me — that’s a crackhead cell phone! I want my money back! You sold me a crackhead phone!
Hobo #2: What do you expect? I’m a crackhead.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: annulla
Mother: You were a jerk for years.
Son: No, I was a cokehead. There’s a huge difference.
–F train
Overheard by: Shaun Laika
