The Beggar Union Has No Pension Demands

Hobo: Oh, you gonna work this car?
Activist guy: Yeah, I got kinda like a political thing goin’ on here. I hope you don’t mind if I work here.
Hobo: A’right, fine, whateva.

–6 train

Overheard by: shahid waseem

Hobo: Hey, I’m not selling candy for the basketball team. I’m not selling candy for the football team. I’m not selling candy for the afterschool program. In fact, I’m not selling anything. I just want your money so I can buy pot and beer and crack. And Viagara. I hear you need Viagara when you’re on the crack…Hi, miss. You have the prettiest eyes I’ve seen in 20 minutes…You, no! Get out. I am working this car. Get out. No candy!

–5 train

Posted on January 2, 2006
Beauty, Business and Commerce, Drinking & Drunk People, Drugs, Hobos, On the Subway, People, Places, Weed

It’s Not Gay if You Blow for Blow Money

Guy #1: You don’t have one gay relative?
Guy #2: Well, maybe my junkie cousin.

–7th Street & 2nd Avenue

Posted on December 30, 2005
Drugs, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Questions, The Village

He Had a Crunk Attack

Girl #1: My brother’s started taking marijuana and I’m worried cause he’s only 17.
Girl #2: I’m so anti-drugs because my dad’s brother died of a drug overdose.
Girl #1: Was it a marijuana overdose?

–Columbia University

Posted on December 22, 2005
Age/Aging, Columbia, Columbia University, Death, Drugs, Girls, Stoners, Teens, Weed

He Ended Up Totally Fried

Man #1: I dunno, Richard Pryor was too…gross for me.
Man #2: Oh yeah?
Man #1: Yeah…Pretty good for a guy that did a lot of drugs, though.
Man #2: Yeah.
Man #1: You know what I just found out? Hunter Thompson did a lot of drugs, too.
Man #2: Really?
Man #1: Apparently.

–Associated Supermarker, Bleecker Street

Overheard by: Gus

Posted on December 22, 2005
About Celebrities, Books & Writing, Drugs, Hard Drugs, Manhattan, Places, Pop Culture, The Village

Pass the Dutchie Hobo Left-hand Side

Hobo: Hey man, you got some change? I’m saving up for a bag of weed?
Guy: No! I prefer to pay for it myself!
Hobo: Yeah?…Well, I don’t!

–Bleecker & Sullivan

Posted on December 20, 2005
Drugs, Guys, Hobos, Manhattan, People, Places, The Village, Topics, Weed

Where Are They Now? (A NYC Short Story)

Woman: What ever happened to Ceci?
Man: Ceci?
Woman: Yeah, Ceci. That little girl that got her fingers cut off. The pretty little crackhead with the beautiful soul.

–116th & Frederick Douglass

Overheard by: Melissa Berry

Junkie lady: Wow, that thing is nice, what year is it?
Yuppie guy: ’06, I just got it.
Junkie lady: ’06? That shit ain’t even here yet. You better put that in a garage, nigga!
Yuppie guy: I don’t have money for that or for you.

–Bed-Stuy

Overheard by: Art Vandelay

Posted on December 16, 2005
Beauty, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Cocaine, Druggies, Drugs, Gadgets, Hard Drugs, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Manhattan, Money & Class, People, Places, Time, Topics

They Must Be Chemistry Majors

Fratboy #1: Did I tell you what Danny said to me?
Fratboy #2: No.
Fratboy #1: Pulls me into his room, says, “I have two things to talk to you about. One, we can’t have so many house parties, because the house doesn’t want that. And two, when we have house parties, only I can go around handing out acid, ’cause that’s what the house wants.”
Fratboy #2: Whoa.
Fratboy #1: I was like, “Danny, you have pissed me off.” I walked out of there.

–Crunch, East 13th Street

Overheard by: John Osvald

Posted on December 3, 2005
Anger Management, Celebrations/Parties, Druggies, Drugs, Frat Boys, Gripes, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying

Wednesday One-liners v. The DEA

Old lady: Lots of people take pills and don’t get addicted. It’s a personality issue. When I had my shoulder done, I had no pain. But I woke up and the nurse said, “Do you want a morphine shot?” And I said, “Sure, I’ll try it! Why the hell not?”

–Broadway & 69th

Posted on October 12, 2005
All Wednesday One-Liners, Drugs, Medicine, Old People, Psychology, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Women

Drugs