Guy: So you went out with this great guy, and then he just told you he’s a girl?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: I just love having these crazy conversations in the elevator, and everyone thinks you’re insane.
Doors open. Everyone gets out.
Guy: This is your floor? Oh no! Those people are your neighbors!
–Elevator, 96th & Columbus
College girl #1: Yeah, she’s afraid to go out anywhere. She always thinks she’s going to get raped.
College girl #2: I don’t understand the big deal about rape. If it happened to me I’d be like, ‘Oh, well, it was bound to happen.’
College girl #3: Haha, you’d probably like it.
College girl #2, nodding: Yeah, I would.
–Elevator in apartment building
Overheard by: Neil
Girl: Yo! What we did in English today?
–24th between 7th & 8th
Orientation girl: We have three orientations going on right now: Gallatin, CAS and Stern. GSP orientation starts next week.
Guy: GSP? Isn’t that the special ed NYU?
–Elevator, NYU Kimmel Center
Girl on cell: Well, what do you think I should wear?…Nah, I mean isn’t the first day of school a sort of wear underwear day?
–86th & Lex
Suit #1: No sir, the kids don’t have school off tomorrow. You believe that?
Suit #2: Wait, the Catholic Schools don’t close for the Jewish holidays? You’re kidding me!
–Elevator, Park & 33rd
Overheard by: Nick Jezarian
Young black lady to friend: I am so happy this is my last week! I hate New York City! Everybody is so rude! Today I nearly punched somebody in the face!
–Elevator, Midtown
Overheard by: thorn
Metro guy, singing: If you're happy and you know it, get a paper. If you're happy and you know it, get a paper. If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it. If you're happy and you know it, get a Metro.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: erkala
Six-year-old boy to mom: The things in cave paintings don't always look happy.
–81st & 1st
Overheard by: Tim
Obvious lawyer, on Yom Kippur: My finger is happy to have the day off.
–32nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: k
An elevator equipped with a TV monitor shows a news segment of a man who just rescued a person swept away by floodwaters in California.
Yuppie Prick #1: Wow, that guy is fat. Can you imagine him saving anyone?
Yuppie Prick #2: Nope!
Fat Bystander: Not unless it was your miserable ass in the water, and he was savin’ you, jerkoff!
–Midtown elevator
Man: I wonder why they named him that?
Woman: He must be shaped like their favorite vegetable.
–Midtown elevator
Overheard by: Lero
Baby face cop #1: I don't know…I'd like to use the mini marshmallows in mine.
Baby face cop #2: Yeah, I guess so, cutting up the big ones is just a pain in the ass.
Baby face cop #1: Yeah, but still that ambrosia recipe is way better!
–Elevator in Courthouse
Man: So how have you been?
Woman: Oh, it’s been crazy. We just got plowed-into by a tractor-trailer. For the second time. It’s coming toward us and I’m looking at my husband and I’m thinking, ‘He’s going to die right here in front of me — and after all that chemotherapy!’
–Elevator, E 27th St
Overheard by: dr. schadenfreude
