Girl #1: You know Alex?
Girl #2: Yeah, he loves me, but not in a sexual way. He just thinks I'm awesome.
–Dorm Elevator, Columbia University
Overheard by: Chopin's Edna
Girl #1: You know Alex?
Girl #2: Yeah, he loves me, but not in a sexual way. He just thinks I'm awesome.
–Dorm Elevator, Columbia University
Overheard by: Chopin's Edna
Chick #1: How’d it go?
Chick #2: Good. I sang the three notes good and he looked up from his computer and smiled.
Chick #1: Hmmm, good.
Chick #2: Or he could have been looking at these…
Chick #1: Oh yeah, he was checking out your boobs!
–Elevator, W 26 St between 6th Ave & 7th Ave
Overheard by: mondo man
Student #1: Holy shit. That girl just dropped apple cider and a carving knife out of her suitcase.
Student #2: Right, but you’re also barefoot and wearing a scuba mask.
–Elevator, Hayden Residence Hall
Overheard by: Will be using the elevators less frequently
Woman: I told him I wasn't opposed to dinner just because he's had a vasectomy.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Meister
Preppy guy: They took cartilage out of his ear and put it in my nose.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Ladle
UES woman: I'm going to get my nails done, then get a colonoscopy in Queens.
–89th and Park
Overheard by: AeC and jRw
Woman on phone: Well, of course I got it removed
*(pause)
Woman: It hurt like hell.
–Elevator in the Hudson Hotel
Guy on phone, Nnoz done: Hts okay – it's just routine anal surgery!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Tam
Man #1, trying to make the elevator door before it closes: Don’t you guys believe in second chances?
Man #2: Did you have beans for lunch?
–188 Montague, Brooklyn Heights
Girl #1: So, I don’t know; he lives in Madrid and wants to meet me so I might go over there in 2 weeks.
Girl #2: Well, does he seem cool at all?
Girl #1: I can’t tell. He seems nice, but I don’t know what he does. Like is he a stamp collector or a lawyer?
–Elevator, Maiden Lane
Guy: Dammit, I forgot my iPod. Fucking cunt.
Girl: What?
Guy: Not you, my freakin’ head.
–Palladium elevator, East 14th Street
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Guy, about article on divorced lesbians: They are coming out all over.
Lady: It’s gotten so you are afraid to sit under a tree.
–Elevator, 1250 Broadway
Young woman on elevator to friend: I have a date this Thursday with a guy I met on match.com, and I was so excited, but then I remembered Thursday is Grey's Anatomy! I mean, I'm DVRing it, but that's so not the same.
–Wall St.
Overheard by: krazyhippie
Large 40-something woman: But I'm not gonna be on Maury sayin', "I'm 100% sure!" Because I'm not!
–10th St & FDR
20-something woman on cell: It's white, sleeveless…well, you don't watch Gossip Girl but it's totally Blair-worthy.
–W 19th & 5th Ave
Appalled girl to friend: So, I guess he just couldn't hold it in and needed to share with everyone around him, so he just shouted out "Fuck! I miss Gossip Girl!"
–Mercer & W 3rd
Saucy Latina: Telemundo makes BET look like The History Channel.
–171st St & Broadway
Overheard by: The Low Hat
Guy to friend: My girlfriend is cool if you and your boys are…she loves the BBC when she's high.
–PATH Station
Overheard by: smjcnj
30-something woman on cell: Remember season one of The Hills? What a simpler time.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: The Evil Triangle
Overly talkative man, after seeing “transparent monument” exhibit: I saw a white cloud and a gray cloud but I didn't see no black cloud…If I was Native American I would see a red cloud!
Man's Asian girlfriend: Or a purple one!
Overly talkative man: What?!
–Elevator, The Met
Overheard by: liselle boyette
