Woman #1 in elevator: Why aren't you wearing a jacket? You're going to be freezing!
Woman #2: I don't need one. It's because I'm fat.
Woman #1: (silence)
Woman #2: You know it's true. You're not saying anything because you know I'm fat. Most people would say, “No, no, no. You're not fat!” but you're not saying that because you think I'm fat. Think about it.
Woman #1: I'm thinking about it.
–39th St
Girl #1: You know Alex?
Girl #2: Yeah, he loves me, but not in a sexual way. He just thinks I'm awesome.
–Dorm Elevator, Columbia University
Overheard by: Chopin's Edna
Chick #1: How’d it go?
Chick #2: Good. I sang the three notes good and he looked up from his computer and smiled.
Chick #1: Hmmm, good.
Chick #2: Or he could have been looking at these…
Chick #1: Oh yeah, he was checking out your boobs!
–Elevator, W 26 St between 6th Ave & 7th Ave
Overheard by: mondo man
Student #1: Holy shit. That girl just dropped apple cider and a carving knife out of her suitcase.
Student #2: Right, but you’re also barefoot and wearing a scuba mask.
–Elevator, Hayden Residence Hall
Overheard by: Will be using the elevators less frequently
Woman: I told him I wasn't opposed to dinner just because he's had a vasectomy.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Meister
Preppy guy: They took cartilage out of his ear and put it in my nose.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Ladle
UES woman: I'm going to get my nails done, then get a colonoscopy in Queens.
–89th and Park
Overheard by: AeC and jRw
Woman on phone: Well, of course I got it removed
*(pause)
Woman: It hurt like hell.
–Elevator in the Hudson Hotel
Guy on phone, Nnoz done: Hts okay – it's just routine anal surgery!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Tam
Man #1, trying to make the elevator door before it closes: Don’t you guys believe in second chances?
Man #2: Did you have beans for lunch?
–188 Montague, Brooklyn Heights
Girl #1: So, I don’t know; he lives in Madrid and wants to meet me so I might go over there in 2 weeks.
Girl #2: Well, does he seem cool at all?
Girl #1: I can’t tell. He seems nice, but I don’t know what he does. Like is he a stamp collector or a lawyer?
–Elevator, Maiden Lane
Guy: Dammit, I forgot my iPod. Fucking cunt.
Girl: What?
Guy: Not you, my freakin’ head.
–Palladium elevator, East 14th Street
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Guy, about article on divorced lesbians: They are coming out all over.
Lady: It’s gotten so you are afraid to sit under a tree.
–Elevator, 1250 Broadway
Young woman on elevator to friend: I have a date this Thursday with a guy I met on match.com, and I was so excited, but then I remembered Thursday is Grey's Anatomy! I mean, I'm DVRing it, but that's so not the same.
–Wall St.
Overheard by: krazyhippie
Large 40-something woman: But I'm not gonna be on Maury sayin', "I'm 100% sure!" Because I'm not!
–10th St & FDR
20-something woman on cell: It's white, sleeveless…well, you don't watch Gossip Girl but it's totally Blair-worthy.
–W 19th & 5th Ave
Appalled girl to friend: So, I guess he just couldn't hold it in and needed to share with everyone around him, so he just shouted out "Fuck! I miss Gossip Girl!"
–Mercer & W 3rd
Saucy Latina: Telemundo makes BET look like The History Channel.
–171st St & Broadway
Overheard by: The Low Hat
Guy to friend: My girlfriend is cool if you and your boys are…she loves the BBC when she's high.
–PATH Station
Overheard by: smjcnj
30-something woman on cell: Remember season one of The Hills? What a simpler time.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: The Evil Triangle
