Woman: Have you ever been to Chelsea piers?
Man: No, I can’t say I have.
Woman: Oh. It’s wonderful. It has a great view of New Jersey.
Man: (sounding disgusted) Oh. (feigning interest) New Jersey, huh?
–Elevator, 25th & 8th
Woman: Have you ever been to Chelsea piers?
Man: No, I can’t say I have.
Woman: Oh. It’s wonderful. It has a great view of New Jersey.
Man: (sounding disgusted) Oh. (feigning interest) New Jersey, huh?
–Elevator, 25th & 8th
Guy #1, in elevator at criminal courthouse: I don't understand. Why is it that every time I get arrested and come to court for something I did, they pull me aside and lock me up for something I didn't do? All I have to do is touch the door of the courthouse and they pull me aside and tell me I robbed the family dollar store! Why would I rob the family dollar?
Guy #2 in elevator: It's a family! Trying to make a dollar!
Guy #1: Exactly!
–Criminal Courthouse, Brooklyn
Overheard by: NYC Kim
Woman: Crowded in here, huh?
Guy: Ha, we’ll be engaged by the 8th floor.
Woman: Ha.
Guy: Ready to have kids?
Woman: Ha.
Guy: I was about to say something obscene, but–
Woman: Say it.
–Silver Center elevator, Washington Square East
Overheard by: adam
Man #1: Oh, you know what you could do is eat a bunch of rice and beans and then shit it out, and you could make bricks out of it.
Man #2: Yeah, some day…
–Elevator, 36 W 25th St
Overheard by: Francine
Cleaner: What a pair of tits on that girl! That's why we go to war, that's why we're in Iraq!
–Service Elevator, Lexington & 41st St
Overheard by: Nicky
Annoying chick, about John McCain: I mean, he was a POW because he fucked up!
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: megan
Security guard, breaking up fight during peace march: You can't fight at the peace march! You can't fight at the peace march!
–143 & Malcolm X
Woman to screaming three-year-old: And that's why you have to register to vote! Or else they'll draft you and you'll have to go to war!
–33rd & 2nd
Girl on phone: I can just get a pass from the Israeli army. Don't worry about it. They're easy.
–NYU Palladium Dining Hall
NYU dude: Muffled i-Pod noises are the new elevator music.
NYU chick: I miss the old elevator music.
–Elevator, Silver Center, NYU
Guy #1: Did you know that scientists say that sperm smells?
Guy #2: Do you mean that sperm can smell its way to the pussy or that sperm just smells in general?
–Elevator, Tribeca
Guy: So you went out with this great guy, and then he just told you he’s a girl?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: I just love having these crazy conversations in the elevator, and everyone thinks you’re insane.
Doors open. Everyone gets out.
Guy: This is your floor? Oh no! Those people are your neighbors!
–Elevator, 96th & Columbus
College girl #1: Yeah, she’s afraid to go out anywhere. She always thinks she’s going to get raped.
College girl #2: I don’t understand the big deal about rape. If it happened to me I’d be like, ‘Oh, well, it was bound to happen.’
College girl #3: Haha, you’d probably like it.
College girl #2, nodding: Yeah, I would.
–Elevator in apartment building
Overheard by: Neil
