Chick: If we ever do go to Vegas, we have to see a brothel!
Queer: Isn’t that where monks live?
–Rubin Hall elevator, NYU
Chick: If we ever do go to Vegas, we have to see a brothel!
Queer: Isn’t that where monks live?
–Rubin Hall elevator, NYU
Girl #1: I’m so pissed, I didn’t even get to sleep last night.
Girl #2 tries to whisper back: It’s not his fault, why didn’t you complain when he was doing it to you.
[elevator goes silent]
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Chelsea B.
Girl #1: God, it smells like chicken McNuggets in here.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah, that’s just my poonan.
–Elevator, Times Square Arts Center
Loud girl #1: So, are you going to tell Eric*?
Loud girl #2: It was a dance.
Loud girl #1: And a kiss.
Jamaican man, who has overheard: Oh. Oh, that’s cold. You ain’t gonna tell him?
Loud girl #2: I didn’t kiss him, he kissed me.
Jamaican man: This gon’ get ugly, you hear me?
Loud girl #2: Fine! I’ll tell him! Then you’ll see ugly.
Jamaican man: Jus’ call me Dear Abby.
–Elevator, Brooklyn
Chick: …And she just lets him in!
Guy: And you’re asleep?
Chick: I’m asleep, and he comes over, and she opens the door for him.
Guy: And she leaves?
Chick: Yeah! So we’re alone, right, and he comes and, like, crawls into bed with me!
Guy: Whoa.
Chick: And I sleep naked, right?
Guy: Right.
Chick: So I’m like, what the fuck?
Guy: You should fire her as a roommate.
Chick: Naw, it sort of turned out all right.
–Brittany Hall Residence elevator, East 10th Street
Girl #1: Well, this is cozy.
Guy #1 from the back: Let’s get to know a little about each other. Hi, my name’s Aaron*. I’m a Pisces, non-smoker, but a heavy drinker.
Girl #2: Hi, I’m Becca. I’m a Taurus, and I really like Chinese food.
Guy #2: This is the best elevator ever.
Girl #3 as door opens: Get the fuck off of me.
–Track 3 elevator, Penn Station
Man #1: Did you hear about Anna Nicole Smith?
Man #2: Yeah, I get news updates on my website. When I read that she was hospitalized I just kept refreshing the page until, finally, she was dead.
Man #1: Dude, that’s not right.
–Elevator, 25th & 6th
Overheard by: Sarah
Suit: So what you really need to do is put together a social networking site for dogs.
–Barfly, 20th & 3rd
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Woman: I swear, my parents are only coming to visit so they can see my dog. Honest!
–Searchlight, 11th & University
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Conductor: Will the man with the small dog in the plastic bag please leave the train. That is not a safe way to be transporting a dog. Thank you.
–Bay Head Train
Guy riding past on a bike, yelling into his cell: Baby! If the dog is talking, that means one of two things…
–24th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: sara n.
Woman on cell: But it's not just any day of the year! It's Yom Kippur! (listens) Fuck you, Dave! Fuck you, and fuck your dog!
–Prince St
Overheard by: elle
Woman in elevator on cell (coming from attorney's office): You won't believe what he did! First he staged photos of me in bed with a dog. Then I turn the page and it's me in bed with my next door neighbor!
–Vesey St
Men #1 & #2: What is that?!
Man #3: Yep, yep, that’s me! Sorry, sorry! It’s me. I just don’t understand it — I’ve never shit my pants in my entire life!
Man #4: That’s disgusting!
Man #3: Sorry, sorry.
Elevator operator: Welcome to New York City.
–Elevator at W Hotel, Union Square
Indignant woman in crowded elevator: You're standing on my foot!
Man: What are feet for?
–168th St Subway Elevator
Overheard by: AWAvatar
