Girl #1: … And then he texted me, ‘I hope all is well.’
Girl #2: Oh, well that was nice.
Girl #1: Nice? ‘I hope all is well’?! Does he mean, ‘I hope all is well now that I’ve scraped your vagina out’?!
Girl #2: Well, I mean, he is a used car salesman…
Girl #1: Oh my god. You’re right. Oh my god, I got fingered by a used car salesman!
–12th & University Pl
[Young black girl bumps into a young white girl rounding a corner.]Young black girl: Oh, I’m sorry miss, excuse me.
[Young white woman gives the young black girl a nasty look, and continues walking.]Young black girl: I don’t know why da fuck I use manners anymore.
–Lehman College
Pizza lady: Next.
[No one responds.]Pizza lady in loud, harsh voice: Next!
Loud, black girl at the beginning of the line: Okay!
Random NYU student: Wow, the pizza line is rough today.
–NYU Kimmel Center
Husky chucklehead boyfriend: Yo! Would it be bad to take a dump in Filene's Basement?!
Preoccupied girlfriend: Ummmm…
–Filene's Basement, Union Square
Overheard by: TMI
Woman on cell: Hi honey…yes, I’m fine…I can hear you…stop saying hello to me. I goddammn hate it when you say hello.
–42nd & Madison
Hobo: Hey, miss! Yeah, you! Talkin’ on your cell! Don’t walk away from me! I see you listenin’ to me! Hell, I can hear you listenin’ to me!
–43rd & 8th
Woman on cell: Guess where I am….guess where I am!…Hello? Hello? Shit!
–La Baguette, University Place
Overheard by: Matty K
Guy that just missed the subway: Shit, shit, shit, fuck, shit…
French tourist, looking at guy: Merde.
Guy: Thank you!
–N Train Station
Thugette #1: You can take that shit and shove it up your fucking rear end.
Thugette #2: “Rear end”? Why don’t you say “ass”, motherfucker? “Ass”!
Thugette #1: We’re on a fucking train!
–A train
Girl #1: So he was like, “We found out you’re allergic to yeast.” And I asked, “Is that why I keep getting yeast infections?” And he goes, “No, you probably just need to be more hygenic after having intercourse.”
Girl #2: Oh my god.
Girl #1: Yeah, I know. So I was like, “WTF, man? I clean my cunt!”
Girl #2: Wait, why’d you say “WTF”?
Girl #1: Because saying “fuck” would be rude.
–6 train
Overheard by: Elisabeth
Old lady: Please stop!
Conductor: I didn’t see you.
The train pulls away.
Old lady: Fuckhead.
–23rd Street F station
Conductor over loudspeaker: Oh you think you’re pretty bad by not giving up your spot.
Long pause.
Conductor over loudspeaker: Don’t go pretending that you can’t hear me now!
–N train
Overheard by: Gregorio
