Ghetto girl #1: Yo, he better treat me better than that. I’m talking roses, bling, Red Lobster…
Ghetto girl #2: Girl that’s so true, I’m puttin’ that on my Myspace.
–Union Square
Overheard by: D. P.S.
Ghetto girl #1: Yo, he better treat me better than that. I’m talking roses, bling, Red Lobster…
Ghetto girl #2: Girl that’s so true, I’m puttin’ that on my Myspace.
–Union Square
Overheard by: D. P.S.
Drunk queer #1: Hey, let’s get some food!
Drunk queer #2: I don’t have any money!
Drunk queer #1: That’s alright. Papi will pay…if you nibble his foreskin!
Drunk queer #2: Alright. Where do you wanna go?
–17th & 5th
Guy: I can’t stand ham. It’ tastes like bootleg meatloaf.
Girl: What?
Guy: It tastes like meatloaf if R. Kelly got to it.
Girl: What’s R. Kelly got to do with meatloaf?
Guy: C’mon. You know what R. Kelly with do with meatloaf if he got ahold of some, don’t you?
–Quiznos, 23rd St & Madison
Overheard by: Jatmos
NYU kid: I’m waiting for a roomba that runs on solar.
–Washington Square
NYU hipster: Do you ever find a little self-deprecation to be charming?
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Joey Gillis
NYU chick: I drink Sprite not Pepsi because you know, it’s colorless so there’s no fat or calories so I can stay thin. You drink Pepsi and that’s brown and thick so it’s got carbs.
–NYU dorm
Overheard by: Low Fat Soda
NYU girl: I don’t like that sour is attached to cream; don’t let the fucking cream go sour!
–Williams & Wall
Overheard by: Genevieve
NYU girl: So they call it a keg stand…they hold your legs up and you’re just supposed to drink out of the spout thingy. SOOOOOO weird, but the guy was hot so I did it.
–W 4th St
NYU student: So I said, "I don’t care what time it is, you are supposed to be a lesbian!"
–Union Square Whole Foods
Overheard by: Batman
NYU girl: Yeah, she did kinda look like a lesbian. I mean, she had really bad posture.
–Church & Murray
Overheard by: Jason
Tourist girl #1: You didn’t want to go to the Star, the Times Square or the Roxy… so what are we supposed to eat for lunch?
Tourist girl #2: Well, I don’t care, but none of these French food places.
Tourist girl #1: French food?
Tourist girl #2: Yeah, all these places are delicatessens… That’s French food!
Tourist girl #1: No, it’s like sandwiches and stuff!
Tourist girl#2: Then why don’t they just call it a deli?
–Outside the Roxy Deli, Times Square
Overheard by: Laura
Queer #1: I’m stuffed.
Queer #2: Yeah. I’m not gonna put another thing in my mouth tonight unless it’s a cock.
–18th & 8th
Boy #1: Wow, cake is God.
Boy #2: So you’re eating God, then.
Boy #3: How very Catholic of you.
–College party
Customer: I’ll have a twelve-inch wheat —
Deli guy: Foot-long, or half?
Customer: Um… twelve inches. Isn’t that a foot?
Deli guy: Foot-long, or half?
Customer: I think you’re missing something here.
–Subway, Elmsford
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Queer: When I get stoned, my grundle itches.
–6 train
Overheard by: sheerah
Street vendor, gesturing to enormous bong: No, no…this one is for tobacco.
–St. Mark’s
Elderly man: People are stupid! They don’t do pot!
–R train
Stoned guy: Man, why do chip manufacturers always put the crumbs at the bottom of the bag?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: bernard black
Teenage gangsta: Yo, when I was in the shower, it totally tasted like weed. For real.
–Lafayette & Houston
Passenger: If you see a suspicious package or activity on the platform or train, don’t keep it to yourself. Tell a cop or an MTA employee or me. There might be some money or some weed in there.
–4 train
Overheard by: Mike
Long-haired dude, picking up a cigarette butt: Man, that’s not what I wanted to smoke.
–72nd & Columbus
Overheard by: clarence rosario
Police officer: Crime isn’t going down. It is being reclassified.
Man: Sir, do you know where I can get cheese?
–Brooklyn Family Court
