Black 10-year-old girl: Mommy! Mommy! Can I get some ice cream?
Ghetto mom: I ain’t gettin’ you no ice cream. Ain’t no holiday.
Black 10-year-old girl: Is so! It’s the Jewish New Year!
–11th St & Ave C
Black 10-year-old girl: Mommy! Mommy! Can I get some ice cream?
Ghetto mom: I ain’t gettin’ you no ice cream. Ain’t no holiday.
Black 10-year-old girl: Is so! It’s the Jewish New Year!
–11th St & Ave C
Old drunk guy: You guys know anything about health and nutrition?
Guy: Clearly not, as we’re drinking beer.
Old drunk guy: Oh… Good point. Well, this may be weird, but remember the Holocaust? Yeah, the Germans found out that the best diets are when you eat the same thing that you’re made of. You know… They learned this because, you know, they would feed families to one another but nobody else realized it. This is why it’s good to eat red meat. Yeah, pretty crazy huh? Ok, bye.
Guy: Yikes.
–Ryan’s Daughter, 85th & 1St
Overheard by: Greg
Ghetto girl #1: Yo, he better treat me better than that. I’m talking roses, bling, Red Lobster…
Ghetto girl #2: Girl that’s so true, I’m puttin’ that on my Myspace.
–Union Square
Overheard by: D. P.S.
Drunk queer #1: Hey, let’s get some food!
Drunk queer #2: I don’t have any money!
Drunk queer #1: That’s alright. Papi will pay…if you nibble his foreskin!
Drunk queer #2: Alright. Where do you wanna go?
–17th & 5th
Guy: I can’t stand ham. It’ tastes like bootleg meatloaf.
Girl: What?
Guy: It tastes like meatloaf if R. Kelly got to it.
Girl: What’s R. Kelly got to do with meatloaf?
Guy: C’mon. You know what R. Kelly with do with meatloaf if he got ahold of some, don’t you?
–Quiznos, 23rd St & Madison
Overheard by: Jatmos
NYU kid: I’m waiting for a roomba that runs on solar.
–Washington Square
NYU hipster: Do you ever find a little self-deprecation to be charming?
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Joey Gillis
NYU chick: I drink Sprite not Pepsi because you know, it’s colorless so there’s no fat or calories so I can stay thin. You drink Pepsi and that’s brown and thick so it’s got carbs.
–NYU dorm
Overheard by: Low Fat Soda
NYU girl: I don’t like that sour is attached to cream; don’t let the fucking cream go sour!
–Williams & Wall
Overheard by: Genevieve
NYU girl: So they call it a keg stand…they hold your legs up and you’re just supposed to drink out of the spout thingy. SOOOOOO weird, but the guy was hot so I did it.
–W 4th St
NYU student: So I said, "I don’t care what time it is, you are supposed to be a lesbian!"
–Union Square Whole Foods
Overheard by: Batman
NYU girl: Yeah, she did kinda look like a lesbian. I mean, she had really bad posture.
–Church & Murray
Overheard by: Jason
Tourist girl #1: You didn’t want to go to the Star, the Times Square or the Roxy… so what are we supposed to eat for lunch?
Tourist girl #2: Well, I don’t care, but none of these French food places.
Tourist girl #1: French food?
Tourist girl #2: Yeah, all these places are delicatessens… That’s French food!
Tourist girl #1: No, it’s like sandwiches and stuff!
Tourist girl#2: Then why don’t they just call it a deli?
–Outside the Roxy Deli, Times Square
Overheard by: Laura
Queer #1: I’m stuffed.
Queer #2: Yeah. I’m not gonna put another thing in my mouth tonight unless it’s a cock.
–18th & 8th
Boy #1: Wow, cake is God.
Boy #2: So you’re eating God, then.
Boy #3: How very Catholic of you.
–College party
