Tourist guy #1: What’s a ‘papaya’?
Tourist guy #2: A hotdog.
–42nd & 9th
Overheard by: Caroline McGraw
Tourist guy #1: What’s a ‘papaya’?
Tourist guy #2: A hotdog.
–42nd & 9th
Overheard by: Caroline McGraw
Yuppie mother: Now, what do you want for dinner? Do you want pizza and edamame?
Kid: Hot dog!
Yuppie mother: Well, how about some baked tofu?
Kid: Hot dog!
Yuppie mother: Or maybe some pesto pasta?
Kid: Hot dog!
–M14 bus
Overheard by: eye-rolling art student
Hipster #1: I’ve always wanted to taste people-meat, you know?
Hipster #2: What? Dude, that’s sick!
Hipster #1: No, I mean, like baked or fried. Like, maybe we taste like chicken, you know?
Hipster #2: Nah, man.
Hipster #1: I don’t know. Just to say I did it.
Hipster #2: Yeah, I guess.
–15th & 2nd
Overheard by: Jane
Chick complaining about looking for roommates: The problem with today is that everybody’s Jewish.
–Dobbin & Norman
Overheard by: Sam Tresler
Young quasi-gangster to friends: Even if you’re not Jewish, you’re, like… Jewish.
–Post-Yankees game on B train
Overheard by: Indiana
Tourist chick: How, how, how can there be no Jewish deli? All I want is a tongue sandwich and a fucking piece of pizza!
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: X-tal
Lady suit: Are you saying you’d rather be with a Jewish person than a wife-beater?
–18th & 6th
Overheard by: emily
JAP: Shiksas are totally not allowed on Jdate!
–71st & Columbus
Overheard by: DebDan
Chick in stall to friend: It must be a Jewish thing, but whenever there’s food around I have to eat it — even if I’m not hungry.
–Restroom, Loews Cinema, 11th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Em
Queer: No, like, of course you’re not Jewish. I just wanted to check before I dissed the Jews.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: hilla
Hipster #1: He was just ghetto. I walked in and there were Mountain Dew bottles on every surface. Ghetto.
Hipster #2: Mountain Dew is ghetto?
–Grammercy Park
Hobo: Hello, sir, I am homeless… addicted to drugs… and HIV positive, and what I need in this world right now more than anything is a bacon, egg and cheese on a croissant sandwich.
–Dunkin Donuts
Farmer’s market guy: Cauliflower is a shy vegetable.
–Broadway & 115th St
Overheard by: Lalaith
Guy on cell: Who the fuck is ‘Hamburger Helper’?
–15th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Dave the Spazz
Dad: Let’s go to Muffin Land!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Michelle
Guy: It’s like this show I did last week, where I took a human skull and I covered it in cheese products.
–The Bronx
Overheard by: Keith R.A. DeCandido
Girl, covering her ears: Don’t say ‘Cheez Wiz!’ Don’t say ‘Cheez Wiz!’
–Central Park
Overheard by: Amy
Suit on cell: So, what do you want to eat?
Hobo: I’d like some shrimp lasagna, that’s what I want to eat!
–Wall St
Suit #1: That’s how we can get people to join us on the safari! We’ll say, ‘come on our safari and bring back your own little Namibian!’
Suit #2: That reminds me, do you have the M&Ms?
–57th St & 7th Ave
Deli girl: So is that your girlfriend?
Guy : No, just a roommate.
Deli girl: What about that other girl you were in here with last week, the other blonde one?
Guy : Nope, just a friend.
Deli girl: And that brunette that came in with you the other day?
Guy : I’m actually gay.
Guy to roommate: Dude, did you see that? That girl is fucking stalking me, she knows every girl I come in here with. I had to tell her I was gay so she would stop with the questions.
Roommate: Why didn’t you just tell her Jess was your girlfriend?
Guy : Cuz the way she was grilling me, I would’ve had to bring Jess in here and make out with her in front of this psycho to make her believe me.
Roommate: Right, so now all you have to is bring a guy in here and make out with him.
Guy: I’m not sure the sandwiches in here are worth that.
–Deli, 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Don’t think I’ll be going back there
Woman #1: All I’m saying is he had three meats today.
Woman #2: He had three meats?
Woman #1: Three meats! And he don’t even have a job!
–147th & 7th
Overheard by: Fogeltrain
