Chick #1: I’m starving.
Chick #2: I haven’t eaten all day.
Chick #1: Do you have issues with food?
Chick #2: No, not really. Well, I tried throwing up after eating for a while, but I wasn’t really into it.
Chick #1: So, what do you do now?
Chick #2: I just don’t eat.
–Cafe at Bloomingdale’s
Crackhead: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m not here to bug ya’ll, but I am here to ask you for some money. If you ain’t got money, I’ll take food.
Girl: You can have my lunch.
Crackhead: What you got there?
Girl: Steak, rice, and beans…
Crackhead: No, baby, I’m worried about my cholesterol!
–4 train at 149th
NYU chick: No, that can’t be true.
NYU dude: I’m dead serious — I couldn’t make that up!
NYU chick: So, you are honestly telling me that if you don’t wash your ball sack, you will grow cheese?
–10th St, between 5th Ave & University
Guy: You can pour all the soup on it you want, that still won’t make it pancakes.
Woman, desperate: You don’t seem to realize, cigarettes are addictive!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Liz
Bimbette #1: Have you ever noticed that lemon-lime soda tastes like urine after a few minutes of not drinking it?
Bimbette #2: Nope.
Bimbette #1: Well, it does. That’s why you have to keep drinking it — so it doesn’t taste bad. Then you get addicted to it and you buy more. It’s a clever marketing scheme.
Bimbette #2: Has the government been probing your brain lately?
–Grand Central
Bimbo #1 picking up box of baking soda: I didn’t know soda was baked…
Bimbo #2: Thank god it’s not fried! Do you know how many extra calories that would be?!
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: Walford geog
Jewish guy #1: See if you can buy that broken cookie for a good deal.
Jewish guy #1 and #2 at same time: Fifty cents, yeah!
Jewish guy #3: That’s why we run the world.
All three: Yeah!
–Starbucks, 60th & 1st Ave
Overheard by: jeremy
Tourist guy #1: What’s a ‘papaya’?
Tourist guy #2: A hotdog.
–42nd & 9th
Overheard by: Caroline McGraw
Yuppie mother: Now, what do you want for dinner? Do you want pizza and edamame?
Kid: Hot dog!
Yuppie mother: Well, how about some baked tofu?
Kid: Hot dog!
Yuppie mother: Or maybe some pesto pasta?
Kid: Hot dog!
–M14 bus
Overheard by: eye-rolling art student
Hipster #1: I’ve always wanted to taste people-meat, you know?
Hipster #2: What? Dude, that’s sick!
Hipster #1: No, I mean, like baked or fried. Like, maybe we taste like chicken, you know?
Hipster #2: Nah, man.
Hipster #1: I don’t know. Just to say I did it.
Hipster #2: Yeah, I guess.
–15th & 2nd
Overheard by: Jane
