Brunette: You and your boyfriend make a cute couple!
Blonde: Ugh! Why do people keep saying that?
Brunette: So why are you with him?
Blonde: Well, you know… Whenever I need a little… (gestures “cash”)
Brunette: Oh! Did I tell you about sugardaddy.com?
Blonde: I made a profile yesterday!
Brunette: Yes!
(girls laugh and high-five)
–6 Train
Overheard by: poor guy
Tween girl: I mean, she changed her MySpace name to "freaky dancer," I mean, she needs to take that shit off. Seriously, take it off, because I'm the freaky dancer, no one else is the freaky dancer but me.
–Uptown 6 Train
Man: There will be no more dancing tonight. I broke the pole.
–Times Square
Jumpy drunk guy: I have two options. Dance or fall asleep!
–Blackbird Parlour, Brooklyn
Overheard by: ak
Guy: I'm really into Nijinsky…no homo.
–F Train
Weary looking woman on cell: Six and a half hours of burlesque. I didn't think there was such a thing as too much burlesque…but I thought wrong.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: McNasty
College girl: And then I would say: "But do you object? Do you object to my vagina dance?"
–Union Square
Girl #1: I know! I’m always losing mine!
Girl #2: It’s a good thing, though, you know, how they come in packs… ‘Cause you can just buy a whole pack.
Girl #1: Doesn’t it suck when you go to the bathroom in a restaurant and you can’t pull it out with your fingers?
Girl #2: Oh, yeah. Totally.
–Fountain at Lincoln Center
Overheard by: what the hell are they talking about??
Girl on cell at register: It's like… If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be. (pause) If it doesn't? Well then baby, fuck that nigga, cuz he was a douchebag anyway.
–Deli, Brooklyn
Girl: It sounds douchey. But not like "douchebag" douchey. Like "Summer's Eve" douchey.
–Tribeca
Man to another, on Halloween: Oh, I get it. You're a douchebag.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: T.J.
Hipster dude, sarcastically to others: I love douchebag bars.
–Outside Puck Fair
Overheard by: Is this the definition of irony?
Overly excited 20-something girl: It's Valentine's Day on Sunday.
Less excited friend: I know, I have a paper due then.
–Grand Central Station
JAP, reflecting: I think I might be a drug dealer.
–Spot’s Café
JAP: Yeah! I went to Israel this summer! And they all looked at me like I was an idiot! They don’t have Uggs there… They don’t have burgers… They don’t have loosies!
–Hunter College
Jappy teen: I’ve never done anything for society and I’ve done just fine.
–University & 12th
JAP: Bitch, "Jewish" is a religion!
–17th & 6th
NYU JAP: I told my dad that I couldn’t go to the scholarship fair because I had to get my nails done, and I think we’re still in a fight!
–Goddard Hall, NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Maya G.
Jappy girl to friend: [Sighs.] I’m losing faith in humanity, one orgasm at a time.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Ponine
Girl #1: Oh my god! We should definitely get together over the summer to study for the MCATs!
Girl #2: Yeah! That way, we'll actually have somewhat of a social life!
–Bard High School Early College
Girl #1: People used to tell me that they took “gullible” out of the dictionary ’cause it was an ancient slang term and didn’t have a language of origin.
Girl #2: Oh, so like “gullibleae”?
–6 train
Overheard by: David Stein
Dancer girl: I dunno, I mean, like, I wish they made a size like, triple zero, so I would have something to look forward to, y’know?
–Central Park
Man: Yeah, that’s how you gain weight: a backed-up colon. I cleaned mine out this weekend.
–B54 Bus
Overheard by: Alma Molato
Old woman, very loudly, in the middle of the movie: Boy, is she skinny!
–Movie theater, 86th Street b/w 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: The New York Crank
Girl on cell: If bitch can’t afford to buy her own groceries, she can just get skinny!
–Green Village Used Clothing, Bushwick
Anorexic fashionista: Any self-respecting anorexic knows that!
–Lincoln Center, 62nd & 9th
Man on cell: You went to a party last night? Well, that means you have to do three hours tomorrow. And I want you to drink lots of water, but none of that crystal light crap. That is seven calories that you do not need.
–Blockbuster, Broadway
Pretty girl on phone, screaming: I am not upset. I'm not upset–I'm enraged! I'm enraged! Enraged!
Young suit: I think maybe, uh… I'm not sure but…
Old suit: I think maybe she's a little enraged.
–28th St & Madison Ave
