Take a Wednesday One-Liner. It'll Last Longer.

Woman to friend: Wait till I show you the pictures. He looked so good in the coffin…

–Gym, Westchester Ave

Thug to homies: Yo, we need to take a pic in case the world ends tomorrow.

–Q Train

Overheard by: Robert

Too-cool-for-school coworker: You don't know how to use your scanner?! Shhiiiit, fool! I can teach you that! I taught myself how to use Google Calendar today. I have a Master's in photography.

–NYU

Overheard by: mm

Man on cell: Hi! Oh my gosh, I just got some great pictures of a plane that crashed into the river!

–Hudson River Park

20-something girl on phone with friend: Will you grab my camera from the apartment for me before you come out tonight? (pause) Thanks, I need it to take pictures of my conquests.(pause) All men should fear us.

–Brooklyn

Posted on March 25, 2009
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Brooklyn, Coworkers, Death, Fears, Friends, Girls, Google, Gyms, Insults, Men, NYU, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Pictures, Questions, Stupidity, Threats, Thugs, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Are the Soundtrack of Your Life

Guy to friend: Dude, I'm working on a new house song right now. It's going to kick ass. It's called "Google It". It goes "Googleit, Googleit, Googleit…"

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Ian

Two guys: Ladies and gentlemen, we are not asking for any money, we just want to sing a little Linkin Park. (they proceed to jump around and sing Linkin Park)

–Uptown N Train

Overheard by: Hametuka

Hipster to friend: Flava Flav…yeah, he's like that skinny guy in Lord of the Rings…you know… "my precioussss…" Yeah… That's him…just a darker version.

–Subway, Brooklyn

Preteen: I won't beat my wife! I listen to Bob Marley!

–E 21st St b/w 1st & 2nd

Dude (matter-of-factly): Crazy northerners…don't quite understand that we're aware of how to speak English in the South. We just choose to say things cooler. That's why Southern rap sounds so much cooler.

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: another misunderstood southerner

Middle aged tourist woman: Have you heard all of these Country Western songs about little girls recently? There's like four of them, and they're all really good too!

–Pinkberry, Bleecker b/w MacDougal & Sullivan

Overheard by: Jason

Posted on November 19, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Family Ties, Friends, Google, Grocery Stores, Guys, Hipsters, Kick, Languages, Lower East Side, Movies, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Music, On the Subway, One-liners, Panhandling, Questions, Stupidity, The Village, Tourists, Tweens, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

We Couldn’t Help Ourselves -We Tried It.

Guy #1: Dude, if you google “bunny porn” it will probably show up.
Guy #2: Good call.

–NYU’s Hayden Hall

Posted on April 7, 2008
Advice, Default, Google, Guys, NYU, Porn, Washington Square Park, Weirdness, Words

Wireless Wednesday One-Liners

Aspiring hipster: All I need now is a tattoo and a MySpace and I’ll be set!

–Oustide Around the Clock, 9th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Molly

Blonde girl: Does anyone know if the subway has wireless connection?

–1 train

Girl on cell: Well, would you fix my computer for free? … What is it with guys who fix my computer wanting to be paid in sexual favors? You’re like the fourth guy to say that to me this year.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Vicksburg

Lady on cell: Well, have you asked him to close his MySpace account? Well, if he really loved you, he would close it!

–28th St, between Madison & Park

Overheard by: mommamoose

Teen chick on cell: Yeah, it’s funny… Google it. Wait, do you guys even have Google in Florida?

–54th & Park

Overheard by: floridian passerby

Teen chick: Oh my god! I am so putting that on the internet!

–Times Square

Posted on January 10, 2007
Google, Internet, Myspace, On Cell, Teens

Wednesday One-Liners Can’t Decide Which Coldplay Lyric to Put in Their Profiles

Teen girl: Wow! I just realized I haven’t been online all day!

–34th & 6th

Overheard by: Different Generation

Middle-aged woman: 50% of the population is allergic to wheat. They just don’t know it. It’s true– I read it on the internet.

–Port Authority

Guy: You should start a fight with her on MySpace.

–75th & Amsterdam

Guy: I’m pretty sure my cat has Down’s syndrome…You can read about it on my MySpace blog.

–Spice, Chelsea

Overheard by: DJR

Thug: MySpace is like crack, yo. I’m addicted to that shit.

–F train

Overheard by: Laurence Lau

Girl: Google is, like, totally taking over the world!

–Terminal 4, JFK

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Girl on cell: We need, like, a slutty web-designer friend we can bring in on this.

–Harlem

Overheard by: Buttons

Scruffy dude: I should just bring her a bunch of photos of my ex-girlfriend and slam them down and be like, “Find one, just one of these, that you’re hotter than.” I can’t believe she wouldn’t give me her e-mail address. She must be out of her mind. I mean, just give me a fake one. Like, something at hotmail.com. Anything!

–54th & 10th

Overheard by: Waiting for The Colbert Report

Guy wearing t-shirt that says “You are so off my buddy list”: So I am thinking about creating another website that’s Jedi-friendly.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Palmala Handerson

Posted on August 9, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Google, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Internet, JFK Airport, Music, Penn Station, Port Authority, Stupidity, Teens, Thugs