Ground Zero

Fire truck loudspeaker to tourists blocking entrance: Please clear the area unless you want to end up as roadkill.

–WTC Site, Liberty Street

Brit lady, to MTA booth lady: Two adults, please. We’ll be getting off around 58th Street.

–14th St F station

Overheard by: Fidget

Tourist: Excuse me, does the F train stop here?

–Subway sandwiches, Houston & Lafayette

Tourist woman, loudly: Jeany? How many stops are we going on this train?

–Times Square shuttle

Overheard by: nevermind

Tourist: Excuse me, which way is it to Upper Town?

–Broadway & Worth

Overheard by: dukes

Tourist: Is this now the Grand Canyon of the East Coast?

–Ground Zero

Tourist: My plane doesn’t leave for 4 hours. Can I walk to the Statue of Liberty from here?

–La Guardia Airport

Overheard by: Jose Hernandez

Tourist, leading a group of more than a dozen fellow tourists: Okay, I… um…don’t know where we are now…Oh, wait! Yes I do! We’re at the South Street Seaport!

–Union Square

Blonde: Look, there’s the Chrysler. Look, there’s Times Square. Where’s the Empire State Building?

–Top of Empire State Building

Overheard by: englishman in new york

Tourist, to deck hand: I can’t see the Statue of Liberty. Would you please move the lifeboat out of the way while I take a picture?

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Steven Lowell

Tourist lady: Oh my god! Oh my god! That’s ground zero!

–Construction site, 42nd & 6th

Crazy old lady: You’re gonna have a bad year.
Guy: Thank you.
Crazy old lady: You’re gonna have very bad luck… you could be in the next 911.

–7th Ave & 36th St

Tourist #1, pointing toward Upper West Side: Is that where the World Trade Center was?
Tourist #2: Yeah, I think so.

–Central Park

Tourist girl #1: What’s with all the Jewish people here? Is it a Jewish holiday or something?
Tourist girl #2: Maybe it’s a Mormon thing.

–Ground Zero

Teen girl #1: This is so, just, like, sad and depressing.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I know. Do they have, like, a gift shop or something here?

–Ground Zero

Guy on cell: …yeah, and then I got arrested. So what’s up with you?

–Brooklyn Heights

Cop: Man, there’s a lot of Grade A ass out here today!

–Ground Zero

Guy: Don’t feel bad, honey. I’d say that one out of every 8 guys is a convicted arsonist. 

–Union Square

Cop: Man, I hate going to the bathroom. You gotta take all this stuff off!

–Barnes & Noble, 22nd Street

Overheard by: Tommy Raiko

Woman #1: So, where was the World Trade Center?
Woman #2: See that empty lot across the street?
Woman #1: Oh. So is that one of the buildings that fell?

–Ground Zero

Overheard by: joy

Little girl, pointing to grab holds: Look, Dad, monkey bars!
Little boy: I wanna play on the pole! No, you can’t too, this is my pole!
Dad: Bobby, everyone can play on the pole!
Little girl: Bobby, go back to your pole!
Little boy: Fine! Look, Dad, I’m a pole dancer!

–PATH train, World Trade Center