Tourist: Can you tell me where grand zero is?
Lady: You mean ground zero?
Tourist: Yes, I guess it is the same thing, okay…
Lady pointing straight ahead: Walk straight ahead. You see the big gap in the sky? There you go.
Tourist: Wait. I don’t see anything. What, its all gone already?
Lady: Are you retarded?
–Corner of Church & Reade
Tourist #1: It was pretty cold, I remember… It was in January, right?
Tourist #2: It was September, you moron! September 11th!
–Ground Zero
Child: Tia Jeanette, did you know that the tourist-ists brought down the twin towers?
Tia Jeanette: No, no, no, Anthony, it was the terror-ist.
Child: Ohhh…
–Ground Zero
Female tourist, as flurries fall: Is that snow?
Male tourist: I think they’re ashes!
–Ground Zero
Overheard by: wiliiam wilson
Skater kid: What’s the point of being gay if you like girls who dress like boys?
–42nd St, between 7th & 8th Ave
Lady on phone: Yeah, she was working at a factory, but she was passing as a man… Well, she didn’t last a week at the factory.
–Bus in Lincoln Tunnel
TA: We live in a two-gender system of society. There’s no green ‘It’s a hermaphrodite!’ balloon to put out on your front lawn.
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Limey
Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For real. I’m sick of being like, ‘That guy is skinnier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has better makeup.’
–26th St
Overheard by: agrees with that girl
College student on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman?
–114th & Broadway
Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were little, but now it’s time to differentiate.
–Target, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Girl #1: Did you know they built the Empire State Building in less than a year?
Girl #2 looking towards WTC site: So why is that still a fucking hole in the ground?
–Cortland St
Overheard by: wondering same
Hobo: All Democrats must dye their hair pink! All Democrats must dye their hair pink. Pink is the color of pussies! Therefore, all Democrats are pussies!
–16th & 8th
Overheard by: My hair isn’t pink and I’m voting for Spitzer
Man having trouble with the levers on his voting machine: Wait, I know what the problem is…I’m a Republican!
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Not a Republican
Young fireman to conspiracy nut: You liberal bastard. I hope you die
in a fire. Motherfucker.
–Ground Zero
Overheard by: Jeremy C.
Hobo walking in the rain, yelling: All Democrats are Al Sharpton cock-suckers! The only question is do they spit or swallow the cum!
–12th St & 5th Ave
Guy accepting donations: Help feed the homeless! Even terrorists can help feed the homeless!
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: sugar ray mcgrath
Hobo: If you see an unattended bag or package, please report it to the nearest New York Police Officer or MTA worker. If one is not around, tell me. I’ll open that shit up.
–4 train, Fulton St
Overheard by: Laura
Hobo, to tourist family taking group photo: Terrorist! Terrorist! Terrorist!
–C Train, 72nd St
Overheard by: Barry P.
British tourist: But there were two Empire State buildings, right? That fell?
–WTC site
Overheard by: J Bird
Girl: Last night, I was so drunk I forgot about 9/11.
–NYU
Overheard by: Bronwyn
Lady to nervous woman: Can I ask you a question? I ain’t a terrorist or nothin’. I’m from New Haven.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Fudd
British bloke: You mean they don’t have any missiles here, in Manhattan?
–Grand & Broadway
Overheard by: jcm
Ghetto girl on cell: How you ‘spect me to find you? This map has, like, so many places on it!
–Brooklyn Botanical Gardens
Overheard by: vix
Tourist: But we are in SoHo!
–16th & 6th
Overheard by: Yours Truly
Tourist to MTA agent: Which train do I need to take to get to South Ho?
–W 4th St subway station
Overheard by: Emily
Teenage tourist: Ohmigod…CBGB… BCBG…Whatever. We totally have to go!
–22rd & 5th
Overheard by: zr
Tourist lady, pointing to Liberty Island: There are people over there. Why are there people over there?!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Not quite sure
Jappy tourist: Hey, we’re trying to get back to New York Island; do you know the best way to get to 48th and 8th Avenue?
–2nd St between A & B
Overheard by: Where Am I?
Yuppie tourist: Christina, Christina! Is this Ground Zero?
–5th Ave, outside Plaza Hotel
Overheard by: D
Tourist lady: People are so mean here. I think they should just give bin Laden the nuclear warhead and let him take this place out. Make this Ground Zero.
Pet-Adoption man: Uh…
Tourist lady: And I’m a nice person.
–Pet adoption kiosk, Union Square
Overheard by: Frightened for the Homeless Kitten’s Life
