Ground Zero

Female tourist, as flurries fall: Is that snow?
Male tourist: I think they’re ashes!

–Ground Zero

Overheard by: wiliiam wilson

Skater kid: What’s the point of being gay if you like girls who dress like boys?

–42nd St, between 7th & 8th Ave

Lady on phone: Yeah, she was working at a factory, but she was passing as a man… Well, she didn’t last a week at the factory.

–Bus in Lincoln Tunnel

TA: We live in a two‐gender system of society. There’s no green ‘It’s a hermaphrodite!’ balloon to put out on your front lawn.

–NYU Silver Center

Overheard by: Limey

Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For real. I’m sick of being like, ‘That guy is skinnier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has better makeup.’

–26th St

Overheard by: agrees with that girl

College student on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman?

–114th & Broadway

Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were little, but now it’s time to differentiate.

–Target, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn

Girl #1: Did you know they built the Empire State Building in less than a year?
Girl #2 looking towards WTC site: So why is that still a fucking hole in the ground?

–Cortland St

Overheard by: wondering same

Hobo: All Democrats must dye their hair pink! All Democrats must dye their hair pink. Pink is the color of pussies! Therefore, all Democrats are pussies!

–16th & 8th

Overheard by: My hair isn’t pink and I’m voting for Spitzer

Man having trouble with the levers on his voting machine: Wait, I know what the problem is…I’m a Republican!

–Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: Not a Republican

Young fireman to conspiracy nut: You liberal bastard. I hope you die
in a fire. Motherfucker.

–Ground Zero

Overheard by: Jeremy C.

Hobo walking in the rain, yelling: All Democrats are Al Sharpton cock‐suckers! The only question is do they spit or swallow the cum!

–12th St & 5th Ave

Guy accepting donations: Help feed the homeless! Even terrorists can help feed the homeless!

–34th & 7th

Overheard by: sugar ray mcgrath

Hobo: If you see an unattended bag or package, please report it to the nearest New York Police Officer or MTA worker. If one is not around, tell me. I’ll open that shit up.

–4 train, Fulton St

Overheard by: Laura 

Hobo, to tourist family taking group photo: Terrorist! Terrorist! Terrorist!

–C Train, 72nd St

Overheard by: Barry P.

British tourist: But there were two Empire State buildings, right? That fell?

–WTC site

Overheard by: J Bird 

Girl: Last night, I was so drunk I forgot about 911.


Overheard by: Bronwyn

Lady to nervous woman: Can I ask you a question? I ain’t a terrorist or nothin’. I’m from New Haven.

–111th & Broadway

Overheard by: Fudd

British bloke: You mean they don’t have any missiles here, in Manhattan?

–Grand & Broadway

Overheard by: jcm 

Ghetto girl on cell: How you ‘spect me to find you? This map has, like, so many places on it!

–Brooklyn Botanical Gardens

Overheard by: vix

Tourist: But we are in SoHo!

–16th & 6th

Overheard by: Yours Truly

Tourist to MTA agent: Which train do I need to take to get to South Ho?

–W 4th St subway station

Overheard by: Emily

Teenage tourist: Ohmigod…CBGB… BCBG…Whatever. We totally have to go!

–22rd & 5th

Overheard by: zr

Tourist lady, pointing to Liberty Island: There are people over there. Why are there people over there?!

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Not quite sure

Jappy tourist: Hey, we’re trying to get back to New York Island; do you know the best way to get to 48th and 8th Avenue?

–2nd St between A & B

Overheard by: Where Am I?

Yuppie tourist: Christina, Christina! Is this Ground Zero?

–5th Ave, outside Plaza Hotel

Overheard by: D

Tourist lady: People are so mean here. I think they should just give bin Laden the nuclear warhead and let him take this place out. Make this Ground Zero.
Pet‐Adoption man: Uh…
Tourist lady: And I’m a nice person.

–Pet adoption kiosk, Union Square

Overheard by: Frightened for the Homeless Kitten’s Life

Girl: People always label me. They don’t take the time to get to know me. I’m the “Really, Really Nice Girl That’s Always Happy. With a Great Smile.”


Overheard by: Adina

Hipster girl, to hipster guy: Does smiling hurt you? It hurts you to smile?

–Top of the Rock, Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: gus

Singing hobos, in unison: Smile, it won’t mess up your hair!

–1 train

10‐Year‐Old girl: His smile haunts me.

–Dinosaur BBQ, Harlem

Overheard by: megan

Tourist dad, posing his family in front of WTC site: Smile, kids!

–Ground Zero

Overheard by: Mike Pobega

Compassionate guy: Nothing warms my heart more than a smiling retard.

–Union Square

Tourist lady: Does this train go to 911?
Man: what?
Tourist lady: I want to see 911.
Man: You mean World Trade Center?
Tourist lady: No, I mean 911.
Other tourist lady: Oh no, you want the E train. I had this problem yesterday. New Yorkers are so unhelpful 

Stunned silence all the way to 42nd St.

–Downtown C train, 50th St.

Tour chick: Have you been to Ground Zero yet?
Teen girl: You mean the club?

–8th & Broadway