Lady facing sign reading “Security”: Excuse me — where can I find security?!
Hapless intern: Um…
–New York-Presbyterian Hospital
Overheard by: i hate hospitals
Lady facing sign reading “Security”: Excuse me — where can I find security?!
Hapless intern: Um…
–New York-Presbyterian Hospital
Overheard by: i hate hospitals
Jock #1: Don’t you dare tell me that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. I’ll kick your ass.
Jock #2: Shut up, you know he doesn’t exist.
Jock #1: Then who the hell puts the presents under the tree?!
Jock #2: Your mom does!
Jock #3: I’d totally do your mom. No lie.
Jock #2: Me, too.
Jock #1: Santa exists, dammit!
–Midtown Direct train
Overheard by: Believes
Guy: That’s a really old graveyard. They have tombstones going back to the 1600s.
Girl: I dont understand. How is that possible?
Guy: It’s an old church. People were buried there a long time ago.
Girl: Yeah, but wasn’t our country made around the 1770s?
Guy: Yes, but there were colonists here from France, England and Spain before that.
Girl: So they brought their dead relatives over here to bury them?
–Trinity Church
Overheard by: Jonathan Bloom
Girl #1: Why don’t you know these things?
Girl #2: Because I don’t read.
–123rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
Dude #1: So, when did you get married?
Dude #2: I got married four weeks ago, in Vegas!
Dude #1: Really?
Dude #2: Yeah. Apparently Elvis wasn’t wearing any underwear when he married us, and some of the guests saw Little Elvis.
Dude #1: Ugh, bummer, dude! Are you sure you’re really married?
–1 train
Overheard by: LG
Girl: Did you hear about that new dog they’re breeding? It’s called
a pewgle.
Guy: What kinda dog is that?
Girl: Oh, it’s a pug and um…um…a bugle.
–Deli, 53rd & 6th
Overheard by: Janelle F
Chick #1: You know, a year ago I didn’t even know who Tracy Chapman was.
Chick #2: Even I knew who she was, and I’m not even black!
Chick #1: Well, I’m not black in the ways that count. I’m not outwardly, identifiably black…Well, except for my skin color.
–Broadway & 116th
Dude: Hi, I’m looking for the World Trade Center.
Cop: Uhhh, yeah… You need to go to Manhattan.
–Ferry Terminal, Staten Island
Overheard by: Ghost Rock It
