Fat tourist: A, I hate Spongebob. B, I’ll see you over the summer.
–R train
Overheard by: Laurea de Ocampo
Fat tourist: A, I hate Spongebob. B, I’ll see you over the summer.
–R train
Overheard by: Laurea de Ocampo
Security agent holding bottle of Axe body spray: You can’t take this in your carry-on bag.
Guy: Why not?
Agent: Because of new Homeland Security regulations.
Guy: When did this happen?
Agent: Have you been living under a rock?
–JFK
Overheard by: Jason
Tourist Chick #1: There’s a subway on every corner in New York.
Tourist Chick #2: Really? Wow. How about the trains?
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: rei-ray
Manhattan girl: Ugh. Things are so slow in Brooklyn!
Manhattan boy: The bank is faster in Manhattan, stores are faster, everything is so much faster.
Manhattan girl: Right, they couldn't afford to be this slow.
Manhattan boy: Well, it's cuz the population here is less educated.
–Walgreens, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Salesgirl: Can I help you?
Teen in short skirt and chewing gum: Um, hi. I’m looking for a book called, um, um, ‘The Da-something Code.’
Salesgirl: The Da Vinci Code?
Teen in short skirt and chewing gum: Yeah, something.
–Barnes & Noble
Male shopper: Excuse me, do you have any sweater vests?
Salesperson: Um, we only have long sleeve vests.
Male shopper: Hmmm, can I see them?
–UNIQLO at Rockefeller Center
Dude #1: How come when you have sex bad things happen, like STDs? Why can’t you get sexually transmitted skills, like creativity?
Dude #2: Or juggling.
–NYU Kimmel
Teen girl: I asked George what his cousin looked like. He said, “He looks like me but with hazel eyes.” How the hell am I supposed to know what he looks like? I don’t know no one with hazel eyes.
–Lincoln Center
Teacher: Who remembers Some Like It Hot?
Student: Isn’t that the one where in the end they’re all on a boat and it blows up?
–Cinema Studies class, NYU
Overheard by: Andrew Jacobs
