Salesgirl: Can I help you?
Teen in short skirt and chewing gum: Um, hi. I’m looking for a book called, um, um, ‘The Da-something Code.’
Salesgirl: The Da Vinci Code?
Teen in short skirt and chewing gum: Yeah, something.
–Barnes & Noble
Salesgirl: Can I help you?
Teen in short skirt and chewing gum: Um, hi. I’m looking for a book called, um, um, ‘The Da-something Code.’
Salesgirl: The Da Vinci Code?
Teen in short skirt and chewing gum: Yeah, something.
–Barnes & Noble
Male shopper: Excuse me, do you have any sweater vests?
Salesperson: Um, we only have long sleeve vests.
Male shopper: Hmmm, can I see them?
–UNIQLO at Rockefeller Center
Dude #1: How come when you have sex bad things happen, like STDs? Why can’t you get sexually transmitted skills, like creativity?
Dude #2: Or juggling.
–NYU Kimmel
Teen girl: I asked George what his cousin looked like. He said, “He looks like me but with hazel eyes.” How the hell am I supposed to know what he looks like? I don’t know no one with hazel eyes.
–Lincoln Center
Teacher: Who remembers Some Like It Hot?
Student: Isn’t that the one where in the end they’re all on a boat and it blows up?
–Cinema Studies class, NYU
Overheard by: Andrew Jacobs
Idiot #1: … And that’s why they call him Ted Kaczynski, because he bit her on the ass.
Idiot #2: Really?
Idiot #1: Yeah, they got the dental records and everything. He totally bit her on the ass, and there were bite marks. That’s why they call him Ted Kaczynski.
–61st & 10th
Girl #1: Wait, how old was he?
Girl #2: He’s 26.
Girl #1: Oh, I thought he was in his 20s.
Girl #2: Uh, yeah, he’s 26.
Girl #1: Oh…
–29th & 3rd
Overheard by: Zohra Chagany
Girl: We used to go out–he was wonderful–so interesting, caring, funny, and great lover. But I dumped him because he was gay.
Guy: Are you sure?
Girl: …Well, maybe he wasn’t a gay after all…Yes, he definitely wasn’t.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: goga
Unmasked woman to two men wearing medical masks: Who cares if he's gay? Gay's not a disease!
Masked man: Yes it is!
–Lower East Side
Dude #1: So, it’s a scientific fact that dudes enjoy taking dumps more than girls enjoy taking dumps.
Dude #2: Yeah, totally. Because of the prosta–
Dude #3: –Yeah! Man, ’cause girls take, like, huge dumps. I mean, I am talking Coke can-sized. Like, you think they’re all dainty and everything, but when it comes down to it I think girls take bigger dumps than dudes, and they can’t enjoy it because they’re pressing grenades out of their asses.
–48th & 6th
Overheard by: matt stohrer
