Infidelity

Columbia girl #1: So wait, he cheated on his mistress??
Columbia girl #2: Nooooo, he cheated on his wife with his mistress.
Columbia girl #1: Oh, I was confused.

–116th & Amsterdam
Headline by: nj2nc

Runners-Up:
· “And by ‘Confused’ I Mean Impressed” – colleen
· “Apparently, So Was the Admissions Staff” – goes to a better NY school
· “He Did Cheat on Both with a Hooker in Vegas, But That Stayed There.” – Deborah
· “It’s OK, Extra-Marital Affairs Is a 300-Level Course.” – Tyson Jurgens
· “It’s a Mobius Strip of Poon.” – prefekt
· “Just as Long as There Weren’t No Damn Queers Getting Hitched. That Would Ruin the Holy Union That Is Marriage.” – Colin McCleod
· “Most Likely to Transfer to a SUNY” – lascouine
· “Professor Giuliani Should Remove His Bio from the Syllabus” – Dave Ellis
· “Shouldn’t be. It’s How You Got into Columbia.” – abby
· “So How Did the Monkey Fit into All of This Again?” – Fleetline
· “You Better Start Learning the Difference If You’re Going to Get That MRS Degree” – SlickRicks
· “You Can’t Cheat on the People You Are Cheating on Your Wife With…It’s in the Bible.” – Sean
· “You’d Think the Concept of Cheating Would Be More Familiar at Columbia” – bri b

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Tall, gorgeous girl to much shorter, uglier boyfriend: Why do you need to know were I was last night? I thought you said our relationship was all about trust!
Boyfriend: I'm your boyfriend! I have a right to know where you were and who you were with!
(as they stop walking and argue loudly, a small crowd begins to gather)
Tall girl: Do you thing I was cheating? Why would you think that? You're the one that said you're the only one that will ever love me!
(crowd boos boyfriend)
Boyfriend: I am the only man that will ever love you!
Random guy in crowd: I love you!
Boyfriend: You love me?
Random guy: No you douchebag, your girlfriend!

–Broadway & Wall St.

Suit #1: Oh hey, how did dinner with Karen go the other night?
Suit #2: Oh man, she is so hot. She looks like…like a golden retriever. Too bad she has a boyfriend.

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Have been told I look like a Burmese cat

Hot girl: I feel really really bad.
Sarcastic gay friend: Your conscience about sleeping with married guys catching up to you?
Hot girl: No, it's that stupid Mexican food you made me eat. I wanna puke.

–6 Train

Overheard by: In Shock

JAP #1: Well, how do you know he’s cheating on you with that [lowers voice to loud whisper] Puerto Rican girl?
JAP #2: God, I don’t for sure know, alright?! Maybe because his dick smells like a Taco Bell, okay?!

–6 train

Overheard by: Maria

Waiter: Oh, how do you know him?
Queer: I was dating him a while back.
Waiter: Really? Did his wife and kids know that?

–Metropol, W. 4th St.

Woman #1: Oooh, child, I know your ass was fucked up from all that drinking!
Woman #2: Hell yeah, you know I was! Shit, I woke up in bed with that mothafuckah again!
Woman #1: Girl, who was it this time?
Woman #2: My fucking husband.
Woman #1: Damn.

–Jay St/Borough Hall train station

Guy: I love you, you know that?
Girlfriend: Fuck you. I know you fucked my sister. It's over.
Guy: But I love you!
(girl slaps him and walks away)
Guy, to barista: I probably deserved that.
Barista: Fuck you.

–Gorilla Coffee, Park Slope

Girl: So you’re saying there might be a chance?
Guy: Yeah…if her husband leaves her, I’m next in line.

–Lafayette St. at Cooper Square

Boyfriend, looking at girlfriend's iPhone: Who is this guy Nick that you're talking to?
Ditzy girlfriend: Whatever…you don't have to worry about him. He's from New Jersey, so I would never touch him.
Boyfriend: What's that have to do with anything?
Ditzy girlfriend: Hello! Everyone knows that everyone in New Jersey has STDs!

–7 Train

Headline by: kate

Runners-Up:
· “Experience=Wisdom” – Fresca
· “I Only Cheat on You Within the Five Boroughs” – The Cleveland Kid
· “It’s Why They Have 50 Different Words for Painful Urination” – Brother Elmer
· “Nick: I Told Her That’s Not What “Suburbia” Is…” – Porter
· “Why Lincoln & Holland Toll Takers Wear Gloves” – Leary Blaine

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