Dude #1: You gotta find a girl to fuck. On the side.
Dude #2: I'm not like that. That's your game.

Los Angeles, California

Guy to workout buddy: I like having sex with married women. The sex is good because they're not having sex with their husbands.


Nasty smoking girl on cell: So did your girlfriend cry when she found out that I'm having your baby? (pause) Haha, that is so funny, I so thought she would!


Overheard by: hayley

Guy #1: Dude, don't get me wrong–Laura* is great, but she's kind of…
Guy #2: Young?
Guy #1: Yeah, but also…
Guy #2: Goofy?
Guy #1: Yeah, but also…
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: She's kind of… She looks like Mick Jagger.
Guy #2: Oh, if you're trying to tell me she's unattractive, I know. But at least she won't cheat on me. (pauses, then laughs) Yeah, she does look like Mick Jagger! Good one!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: wow, that's harsh

Girl to boyfriend: By the way, I'm cheating on you.

Edwardsville, Illinois

Overheard by: M

Angry boyfriend: I'm not off gallivanting around town!
Girlfriend: (indistinct mumbles)
Angry boyfriend: I don't hang out with anyone!
Girlfriend: (more mumbles)
Angry boyfriend: I'll just lie to you from now on.

Kent, Ohio

Crazy woman on cell: Yeah, you know, I just… I really think we're meant to be together. I can't stop thinking about you. I mean I feel bad I lost you… (brief pause) but I mean I saw this psychic and she said we're totally meant to be, so yeah… (pause again) Well, I mean if you don't care that I slept with so many guys while we were together, maybe we could try again?

Overheard by: aiden

Private: I've been married to her for four years and only cheated on her for two. I don't see why she would wanna split.

Ft. Gordon, Georgia

Dude #1: So, I'm trying to get my girlfriend to cancel her wedding to her friggin abusive boyfriend.
Dude #2: Wait! Your girlfriend?
Dude #1: Yeah, my girlfriend. Her boyfriend beats the shit out of her.
Dude #2: Word?
Dude #1: I mean, it's such a waste of money! They gotta spend money on the hotel and the reception. Such a waste, right?
Dude #2: I guess…

NYS Fair
Syracuse, New York

Teen guy: Hey, Louise, do you wanna know why David broke up with you?
Teen girl: Because he was cheating on me…
Teen guy: No. Well, I shouldn't really say this, but David is gay.
Teen girl, surprised: Again?