Chick #1: Thanks, bitch.
Chick #2: I’m obsessed with you!
Chick #1: A restraining order couldn’t stop my love.
–Canal St, Chinatown
Overheard by: i’m scared
Chick #1: Thanks, bitch.
Chick #2: I’m obsessed with you!
Chick #1: A restraining order couldn’t stop my love.
–Canal St, Chinatown
Overheard by: i’m scared
30-ish investment banker on cell: She had so much makeup on her face she looked like she had just blown 20 clowns.
–44th & Park
Father to kids cupping statue’s penis: Come on, girls, it’s time to leave. You’ll be lesbians before you know it.
–Time Warner Center
Lesbian to pal: We could be the next big hit! Lesbians on ice!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Putting on her Ice Skating Shoes
Lesbian: You’re upset that the woman could tell we’re dykes. I’m upset that she insulted us because we’re dykes.
–16th & 1st
Drunk redhead trying to hail C train: A hot dog in the hand is worth two lesbians in the bush.
–207th St station
Hobo: Beware the lesbians! They feed at sundown!
–E/V platform, 5th Ave
Girl: Didn’t your mother ever teach you if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say a fucking thing?
Guy: Um…
Girl: You’re such a dick! God, what a motherfucker.
–1 train
Girlfriend: Ugh, I have the worst taste in my mouth.
Boyfriend: That’s ’cause you’re a whore.
Girlfriend: … I don’t get it.
Boyfriend: Your mouth tastes bad ’cause you suck too much cock.
Girlfriend: Oh my god! You’re such an asshole!
Boyfriend: I love you, baby.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: sweetpea
Girl: Why are you wearing cowboy boots?
Guy walking other way: I just got off work.
Girl, to friend: Did that guy just call me a whore?
–East Village
Overheard by: James Triggs
Buddhist: Excuse me, sir, are you a New Yorker?
Obvious New Yorker: Go fuck yourself!
–Union Square
Overheard by: playtoe
Five-year-old boy: Daddy, why is Mommy crying?
Unemotional father: Son, your mother is crying because you are an asshole.
–1 train
Guy #1: Welcome to Earth. [Guy #2 doesn’t hear him.] Welcome to Earth.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Are you okay? You from around here?
Guy #2: Yeah, I’m fine.
Guy #1: Okay, that’s good. Welcome to Earth. [Guy #2 leaves.] Asshole.
–C train
Overheard by: Ray
Three-year-old: Why are you staring at me?
Trashy mom: ‘Cause you’re funny-lookin’.
–Filene’s Basement, Union Square
