20-ish chick #1: We should have brought a black light to see what her teeth would have done.
20-ish chick #2: You always know how to make me feel better about bitches like that.
–Times Square
20-ish chick #1: We should have brought a black light to see what her teeth would have done.
20-ish chick #2: You always know how to make me feel better about bitches like that.
–Times Square
Guy #1: … And ‘K’ on a triple-letter score makes 45.
Chick-who-doesn’t-give-blowjobs: What’s that? ‘Upchuck’? That’s not a word!
Guy #1: I’m afraid it is, dear.
Chick #2: Yup.
Guy #1: Go to dictionary dot com — look it up.
Chick-who-doesn’t-give-blowjobs: And what does this word mean?
Guy #2: Well, upchuck is what you would do if you saw smegma.
Guy #1: Last time she saw smegma I got 42 points!
Chick #2, on computer: I just looked up ‘upchuck.’ It means ‘vomit.’
Guy #2: Smegma, upchuck… Mike, I’m noticing a pattern in your choice of words.
Guy #1: I just try to think of words that will get Tina really upset.
Chick-who-doesn’t-give-blowjobs: Well, thank you very much. Are you proud that you’re a disgusting pig?
Guy #1: I would say I’m at peace with myself.
—Another Scrabble party, 34th & 2nd
Overheard by: Big Larry
Hobo: Yo! Where you girls from?
White teen girl: Your mom.
Hobo: Whoa, nigga, that’s crazy.
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Cface
Homie #1: Fuck you, nigga! You ain’t hustlin’!
Homie #2: No, fuck you! My shit is tight!
Homie #1: I’m still spendin’ money from ’93, nigga!
Homie #2: I’m still spendin’ money from ’88, nigga!
–119th & 7th
Overheard by: yvahn
Asian girl, after falling down: Ouch! My knee!
Suit: That is the hottest thing I’ve seen all week.
–45th & 3rd
Overheard by: Lena L.
Chick #1: Thanks, bitch.
Chick #2: I’m obsessed with you!
Chick #1: A restraining order couldn’t stop my love.
–Canal St, Chinatown
Overheard by: i’m scared
30-ish investment banker on cell: She had so much makeup on her face she looked like she had just blown 20 clowns.
–44th & Park
Father to kids cupping statue’s penis: Come on, girls, it’s time to leave. You’ll be lesbians before you know it.
–Time Warner Center
Lesbian to pal: We could be the next big hit! Lesbians on ice!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Putting on her Ice Skating Shoes
Lesbian: You’re upset that the woman could tell we’re dykes. I’m upset that she insulted us because we’re dykes.
–16th & 1st
Drunk redhead trying to hail C train: A hot dog in the hand is worth two lesbians in the bush.
–207th St station
Hobo: Beware the lesbians! They feed at sundown!
–E/V platform, 5th Ave
Girl: Didn’t your mother ever teach you if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say a fucking thing?
Guy: Um…
Girl: You’re such a dick! God, what a motherfucker.
–1 train
Girlfriend: Ugh, I have the worst taste in my mouth.
Boyfriend: That’s ’cause you’re a whore.
Girlfriend: … I don’t get it.
Boyfriend: Your mouth tastes bad ’cause you suck too much cock.
Girlfriend: Oh my god! You’re such an asshole!
Boyfriend: I love you, baby.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: sweetpea
