Buddhist: Excuse me, sir, are you a New Yorker?
Obvious New Yorker: Go fuck yourself!
–Union Square
Overheard by: playtoe
Buddhist: Excuse me, sir, are you a New Yorker?
Obvious New Yorker: Go fuck yourself!
–Union Square
Overheard by: playtoe
Five-year-old boy: Daddy, why is Mommy crying?
Unemotional father: Son, your mother is crying because you are an asshole.
–1 train
Guy #1: Welcome to Earth. [Guy #2 doesn’t hear him.] Welcome to Earth.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Are you okay? You from around here?
Guy #2: Yeah, I’m fine.
Guy #1: Okay, that’s good. Welcome to Earth. [Guy #2 leaves.] Asshole.
–C train
Overheard by: Ray
Three-year-old: Why are you staring at me?
Trashy mom: ‘Cause you’re funny-lookin’.
–Filene’s Basement, Union Square
Boy trying to get teacher to call on him: Oh my god, I have a really good point to make!
Girl, just as eager: Shut up! Mine is better!
–Hunter College High
Old hobo: So, can I have your number?
Pretty girl, who’s been ignoring him for a while: Uh, no…
Old hobo: Well, you’re a lesbian! You don’t want no man!
Pretty girl: I already have a man.
Old hobo: Yeah, a lesbian man!
–2nd Ave subway stop
Overheard by: Dahlia
Saucy Latina: I don’t want to get a bikini wax if it won’t be sexual.
–Dallas BBQ, Times Square
Overheard by: Ladle
Exasperated Latina: She makes me sin on freakin’ Ash Wednesday!
–42nd St. 4 station
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Latina on cell: Hey, just calling to say hi… And tell you I’m never gonna see you again. Okay, bye!
–24th & 7th
Whiny Latina: I don’t want to sweat today — I can’t mess up my hair!
–New York Sports Club, Astoria
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Loud Latina: He woke up and pissed in a bottle. I was like, ‘The bathroom’s right there! Why you gotta piss in a 40 bottle?’
–3 train
Overheard by: EthanK
Sassy Latina on cell: Well, you can just call your parents and tell them you’re a pig and need more than one woman and that’s why we aren’t getting married!
–Near Steinway St, Queens
Overheard by: ADC
Latino thug: That’s what we do. That’s what we do when we hangin’ out with a girl: smoke a blunt, watch a movie, and then we fuck. That’s what we do. All my niggas, that’s what we do!
–Ft Greene
Overheard by: Andrew
Chick: It was really good seeing you! Tell your sister I said hi!
Guy: I will — you, too! [To friend] What a fuckin’ bitch.
Chick: I can still hear you!
Guy: I don’t care!
–Sugar Bar, Church St
Dude: You really don’t look much like your picture.
Girl: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude: I’m still deciding.
–W 3rd & Sullivan
Overheard by: jor
Teen girl #1: I hate riding in her car.
Teen girl #2: I know! It smells like dog, and then you look like dog.
–Bushwick
Overheard by: -|
