Insults

Saucy Latina: I don’t want to get a bikini wax if it won’t be sexual.

–Dallas BBQ, Times Square

Overheard by: Ladle

Exasperated Latina: She makes me sin on freakin’ Ash Wednesday!

–42nd St. 4 station

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Latina on cell: Hey, just calling to say hi… And tell you I’m never gonna see you again. Okay, bye!

–24th & 7th

Whiny Latina: I don’t want to sweat today — I can’t mess up my hair!

–New York Sports Club, Astoria

Overheard by: MissPinkKate

Loud Latina: He woke up and pissed in a bottle. I was like, ‘The bathroom’s right there! Why you gotta piss in a 40 bottle?’

–3 train

Overheard by: EthanK

Sassy Latina on cell: Well, you can just call your parents and tell them you’re a pig and need more than one woman and that’s why we aren’t getting married!

–Near Steinway St, Queens

Overheard by: ADC

Latino thug: That’s what we do. That’s what we do when we hangin’ out with a girl: smoke a blunt, watch a movie, and then we fuck. That’s what we do. All my niggas, that’s what we do!

–Ft Greene

Overheard by: Andrew

Chick: It was really good seeing you! Tell your sister I said hi!
Guy: I will — you, too! [To friend] What a fuckin’ bitch.
Chick: I can still hear you!
Guy: I don’t care!

–Sugar Bar, Church St

Dude: You really don’t look much like your picture.
Girl: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude: I’m still deciding.

–W 3rd & Sullivan

Overheard by: jor

Teen girl #1: I hate riding in her car.
Teen girl #2: I know! It smells like dog, and then you look like dog.

–Bushwick

Overheard by: -|

Guy: These shoes are so comfortable I can walk in them!
Girl: That could quite possibly be the dumbest shit you have ever said.

–Neptune Ave & Ocean Pkwy

Overheard by: i am that guy

Grandma: You wanna hear a funny joke?
Boy: Okay.
Grandma: What’s yellow and smells?
Boy: Daddy?

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Hamlet

20-something guy #1: I used to fuck guys like you in prison.
20-something guy #2: Please. If you had been to prison I don’t think that you would have been the one doing the fucking.
20-something guy #1: I guess that’s true.
20-something chick: Fucking morons.

–Delancey & Orchard

Overheard by: Bang-Around Bob

Guy #1: So, my uncle is having marriage problems. His wife found kiddie porn on his computer.
Guy #2: Damn… That shit’s illegal. Did she confront him about it?
Guy #1: Yeah… You know what he said to her?
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: ‘Well, I wouldn’t need to use it if you were prettier.’

–Ozzie’s, Lincoln & 7th Ave

Overheard by: augie

Hobo: Hey, doggie. Come here, doggie. Hey, hey, doggie. Come over here.
Woman, pulling dog away on leash: Come, Mikey! Come on!
Hobo, to passerby: You see that? Fuckin’ racist don’t want me touchin’ her dog ’cause I’m fuckin’ black!
Teen passerby: No, sir, it’s because you are homeless.
Hobo: Oh. Well, yeah. There’s that.

–Clinton & Montague, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: Mike N

Girl #1: Can we get thin crust pizza instead?
Girl #2: Are you a fucking faggot?

–12th & Ave A

Overheard by: Liz