Boy trying to get teacher to call on him: Oh my god, I have a really good point to make!
Girl, just as eager: Shut up! Mine is better!
–Hunter College High
Boy trying to get teacher to call on him: Oh my god, I have a really good point to make!
Girl, just as eager: Shut up! Mine is better!
–Hunter College High
Old hobo: So, can I have your number?
Pretty girl, who’s been ignoring him for a while: Uh, no…
Old hobo: Well, you’re a lesbian! You don’t want no man!
Pretty girl: I already have a man.
Old hobo: Yeah, a lesbian man!
–2nd Ave subway stop
Overheard by: Dahlia
Saucy Latina: I don’t want to get a bikini wax if it won’t be sexual.
–Dallas BBQ, Times Square
Overheard by: Ladle
Exasperated Latina: She makes me sin on freakin’ Ash Wednesday!
–42nd St. 4 station
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Latina on cell: Hey, just calling to say hi… And tell you I’m never gonna see you again. Okay, bye!
–24th & 7th
Whiny Latina: I don’t want to sweat today — I can’t mess up my hair!
–New York Sports Club, Astoria
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Loud Latina: He woke up and pissed in a bottle. I was like, ‘The bathroom’s right there! Why you gotta piss in a 40 bottle?’
–3 train
Overheard by: EthanK
Sassy Latina on cell: Well, you can just call your parents and tell them you’re a pig and need more than one woman and that’s why we aren’t getting married!
–Near Steinway St, Queens
Overheard by: ADC
Latino thug: That’s what we do. That’s what we do when we hangin’ out with a girl: smoke a blunt, watch a movie, and then we fuck. That’s what we do. All my niggas, that’s what we do!
–Ft Greene
Overheard by: Andrew
Chick: It was really good seeing you! Tell your sister I said hi!
Guy: I will — you, too! [To friend] What a fuckin’ bitch.
Chick: I can still hear you!
Guy: I don’t care!
–Sugar Bar, Church St
Dude: You really don’t look much like your picture.
Girl: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude: I’m still deciding.
–W 3rd & Sullivan
Overheard by: jor
Teen girl #1: I hate riding in her car.
Teen girl #2: I know! It smells like dog, and then you look like dog.
–Bushwick
Overheard by: -|
Guy: These shoes are so comfortable I can walk in them!
Girl: That could quite possibly be the dumbest shit you have ever said.
–Neptune Ave & Ocean Pkwy
Overheard by: i am that guy
Grandma: You wanna hear a funny joke?
Boy: Okay.
Grandma: What’s yellow and smells?
Boy: Daddy?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Hamlet
20-something guy #1: I used to fuck guys like you in prison.
20-something guy #2: Please. If you had been to prison I don’t think that you would have been the one doing the fucking.
20-something guy #1: I guess that’s true.
20-something chick: Fucking morons.
–Delancey & Orchard
Overheard by: Bang-Around Bob
Guy #1: So, my uncle is having marriage problems. His wife found kiddie porn on his computer.
Guy #2: Damn… That shit’s illegal. Did she confront him about it?
Guy #1: Yeah… You know what he said to her?
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: ‘Well, I wouldn’t need to use it if you were prettier.’
–Ozzie’s, Lincoln & 7th Ave
Overheard by: augie
