Guy: These shoes are so comfortable I can walk in them!
Girl: That could quite possibly be the dumbest shit you have ever said.
–Neptune Ave & Ocean Pkwy
Overheard by: i am that guy
Guy: These shoes are so comfortable I can walk in them!
Girl: That could quite possibly be the dumbest shit you have ever said.
–Neptune Ave & Ocean Pkwy
Overheard by: i am that guy
Grandma: You wanna hear a funny joke?
Boy: Okay.
Grandma: What’s yellow and smells?
Boy: Daddy?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Hamlet
20-something guy #1: I used to fuck guys like you in prison.
20-something guy #2: Please. If you had been to prison I don’t think that you would have been the one doing the fucking.
20-something guy #1: I guess that’s true.
20-something chick: Fucking morons.
–Delancey & Orchard
Overheard by: Bang-Around Bob
Guy #1: So, my uncle is having marriage problems. His wife found kiddie porn on his computer.
Guy #2: Damn… That shit’s illegal. Did she confront him about it?
Guy #1: Yeah… You know what he said to her?
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: ‘Well, I wouldn’t need to use it if you were prettier.’
–Ozzie’s, Lincoln & 7th Ave
Overheard by: augie
Hobo: Hey, doggie. Come here, doggie. Hey, hey, doggie. Come over here.
Woman, pulling dog away on leash: Come, Mikey! Come on!
Hobo, to passerby: You see that? Fuckin’ racist don’t want me touchin’ her dog ’cause I’m fuckin’ black!
Teen passerby: No, sir, it’s because you are homeless.
Hobo: Oh. Well, yeah. There’s that.
–Clinton & Montague, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Mike N
Girl #1: Can we get thin crust pizza instead?
Girl #2: Are you a fucking faggot?
–12th & Ave A
Overheard by: Liz
Old lady: What did you just say?
Three-year-old: [Inaudible mumbling.]Old lady: Don’t curse, goddammit! You sound like a fucking ass!
–110th & Madison
Chick to friend: That guy in the Starbucks across the street was such a douchebag.
Guy behind her, leaning in: I can be a douchebag if you want me to [winks].
–Starbucks, St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Alanna
White nerd in monotone: Look, just because I’m a motherfucking P-I-M-P does not give you the right to kiss up on my women.
Black guy: Fool, don’t be trippin’! You ain’t got but one woman, and she’s fat.
–45th & 9th
Street vendor: Five dollar.
Browser: No, three dollars.
Street vendor: No, no, five dollar!
Browser: No, I’ll pay three dollars.
Street vendor: No. Five dollar!
Browser: Okay, no thanks.
Street vendor: Yeah, well, you too tall!
–Chinatown
Overheard by: he was pretty tall
