iPod

Wednesday One-Liners Want You to Know About the Size of Their Bank Accounts

Yuppie on cell (trying to be discreet): Hey mom. Are you busy? Could you Google Maps me? I'm on Houston and West Broadway. Yeah, I didn't want to ask anyone for directions and make a fool of myself. Although I'm pretty sure I just did, because half of this coffee shop is looking at me now.

–W Houston

Overheard by: Let's face it, we were all new at one point.

40-something yuppie woman: And then I realized that my biggest problem in life is that most of the time I'm incredibly happy, but I'm not aware of how happy I am.

–81st & Madison

Yuppie dad to seven-year-old daughter: Now when you start buying iPods, that's when you're going to want to have a Visa card.

–Stanton & Christie

Overheard by: Ross

Three-year-old yuppie spawn: Noooooooooooo! I don't want Pad Thai! I want sushi!

–Dice Thai, Prospect Park

Overheard by: I'll take sushi too but you're payin', kid

Sniff, Sniff. It Stinks of Bitch Up in Here

Chick #1: One of my earphones on my iPod is completely busted.
Chick #2: Why? Do you listen to it really loud?
Chick #1: Yeah, on the subway. I try to drown out the noise.
Chick #2: I wish they made iPods for the nose so you could drown out the smell.

–Life Cafe Nine 83, Bushwick

Overheard by: Courtney C

He Didn’t Get His Million Dollars’ Worth

Loud girl #1: I want an iPod.
Loud girl #2: I think iPods are completely overrated; iPods, Uggs, and nose rings…
Man: Girls, you’re forgetting space tourism, you fucking idiots.

–G train

But Then Won't You Have to Entertain Me?

Very young misbehaving child: But mommy! I really want it!
Annoyed mother: If you don't behave, I'm going to delete all the music off your iPod!

–H&M 35th & 7th

Overheard by: Marissa Pelly

The Food or the Singer?

Girl (pointing at Nano ad on side of phone booth): Look, it's those iPods I want to eat.
Guy: Eat them? They do kind of look like Skittles.
Girl: Yes, mmmmm! I want to eat them!
Guy: What would the gray one taste like?
Girl: Meatloaf.

–56th & 9th

Overheard by: Guy who wouldn't eat them

An Impromptu Performance of the Famous Manhattan Jacket Dance

Man to woman, as she stamps on jacket: Hey, yo! My iPod's in there!
Woman, continuing to stamp on jacket: I don't give a fuck!

–8th & Broadway

Wednesday One-Liners for the Pod People

Hipster girl: You really need to hear his podcast about how technology is raping our souls.

–Bleecker & Broadway

Overheard by: Jekke

Hipster on cell: So I just got my new iPod… Yeah, it’s awesome! All I need now is a job, and I’m totally set!

–Stillwater, E 4th & 2nd

Overheard by: Pedro Van

Dude: I think my iPod’s gay.

–23rd St F stop

Overheard by: Eliot

Chemistry teacher: I am not liking annoying sound. Today on subway there was man with pants, like, here [motions to mid-thigh] and loud, how you call?… iPod! I am thinking, ‘He is going to lose his pants!’ And he stand on crowded train and sing with iPod. He give us concert, and am I thinking, ‘Why he not dead yet?’

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Little boy, about man blaring music from cell: Geez, just get an iPod, dude!

–Crowded A train

Overheard by: Neal Mortimer

…For Your Information.

Suit: (bangs on information glass repeatedly)
Clerk, playing with his iPod: How may I help you?
Suit: Can I exchange my expired MetroCard?
Clerk: See the sign says “information only”? Go across the street.
Suit: So what are you here for? To play with your iPod?
Clerk: I deserve my job.

–R Train

Overheard by: Danchik

Maybe You Should Work on Your Accent

Woman #1: My principal says you can get French lessons as an iPod.
Woman #2: An “iPod”?
Woman #1: Yeah…they’re about 15 minutes long, they come on your computer, and they’re free.
Woman #2: Hmm.
Woman #1: Wait, I mean a podcast.
Woman #2: “Podcast”? Sounds like it comes from aliens.

–Patisserie Claude, West 4th Street

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

I Think Dell

Penny-pincher: Excuse me. Where do they sell the knockoff iPods?

–Times Square

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