Attendee at Microsoft event: So what's a Zune?
Zune rep: It's a music and media player that…
Attendee: So, it's an iPod?
–Cooper Union
Overheard by: Peter Pentacostle
Attendee at Microsoft event: So what's a Zune?
Zune rep: It's a music and media player that…
Attendee: So, it's an iPod?
–Cooper Union
Overheard by: Peter Pentacostle
20-something preppy female on BlackBerry: What do you mean where was I last night?! Are you out of your damn mind? I took an Ambien and passed out at 9 pm! (pause) Yeah, you should be sorry, you asshole. I'll let you make it up to me with a new iPod for Christmas. (pause) No, the blue one! Ugh. I have to go back to work, but there better be an apology e-mail waiting at my desk.
Shocked coworker: Lindsey, you were dancing with me on tables until 4 am!
20-something preppy female on BlackBerry: Obvious! But I can't tell my boyfriend that. Then he will definitely know I hooked up with that gorgeous Australian.
Shocked coworker: Wow. That's impressive.
20-something preppy female on BlackBerry: Oh, please. That's nothing. Wait till the Monday inquisition, when I'll have to step it up to an iPhone!
–Starbucks
Man: What is iPod? What is laptop?
Girl with headphones, laughing: Good one!
Man: What is iPod? What is laptop?
–B Train
Overly enthusiastic customer: So I heard that they are coming out with a 32 gb iPhone for Christmas. Like a red product thing for Christmas. Is that true?
Overly perky Apple employee: Well, sir, I wouldn't know because I'm Jewish and whenever they have Christmas meetings, they kick me out of the room.
–Apple Store SoHo, Prince & Greene St
Overheard by: are they allowed to say that?
Dude with headphones on: How the fuck did Britney Spears get on my iPod?
–13th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Alice
Bus driver: Next stop, 47th Street. And to the asshole who has his iPod on too loud, turn it down or I'll throw you the fuck off.
–M15 Bus
Overheard by: Turned mine off immediately
White girl: It was like Hanukkah on my iPod yesterday! It said there was no battery left but it lasted for two hours!
–Bayside, Queens
Overheard by: Alexandra
Dad to girl: If you can just get over being a pissy girl, you get a free iPod Touch.
–23rd St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Jill Twiss
Really stoned girl, looking at iTunes latest releases: iFart mobile? Do they really have that for sale? iPhone can fart now? (pause) Is there anything an Apple device can't do?
–Bayside, Queens
Man playing electric guitar on subway: I take Mexican money, I take umbrellas. I take whatever you got. I have three kids at home who need iPods.
–2 Train
Overheard by: res
Blonde girl: I saw that really handsome guy on the bus yesterday, and I was so happy cuz I haven't seen him in a month. I actually got really close to him, too. But the worst thing happened.
Brunette girl: Oh, that like, 40-year-old hot guy? What, was he like, hideously disfigured up close or something? Did he smell like bologna?
Blonde girl: No. He was gorgeous and perfect as usual. It was much worse. I was listening to my iPod, and I noticed he was talking on the phone. I turned my iPod down to hear his voice, finally, and it…it was not good.
Brunette girl: Not god?
Blonde girl: It was like fucking Ray Romano. With the honk and the accent and the shrill nasal whine! I wanted to die! I wanted to die.
–R Train
Creepster to passing blonde: Hey, you walk pretty fast. Must be good for burning calories. [Blonde ignores him and keeps walking, and creepster’s phone rings.] Hey, I just tried to talk to this girl… She must have had an iPod on.
–Union Square West
Overheard by: the first girl he tried to talk to
Mom to two-year-old bawling in stroller: Adriana, I am not going to argue with you — you are not getting an iPod!
–14th St, between 5th & 6th Ave
Panhandler: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I’m homeless, and I’m hungry. If anyone can help me out with food, something to drink, a spare iPod, a Macy’s gift card, or anything else that rhymes with that, I’d appreciate it. I know you’re human. We have to help each other out. If you were slaves, I’d free all of you. Even the white people.
–Manhattan-bound A train
Overheard by: courtenay
Mother yelling at misbehaving 11-year-old son: Do you want to be grounded from your iPod this weekend?
–22nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Dave H.
Aerobics instructor: Yeah, I’ve got everything I need — I’ve got an iPod, I’ve got a boyfriend…
–W 63rd & West End Ave
Overheard by: Suze V
Gay barista with asymmetrically-fashioned hair: Oh, yeah, I had really fancy ear bud headphones, too… But then I dropped them in a puddle of my own vomit on the subway, so now I have cheap ones. Yeah, that sucked.
–Bushwick Ave, East Williamsburg
Old woman pointing at guy’s iPod: Excuse me, young man, but what is that?
–Times Square shuttle
Overheard by: goofopet
Teacher, after taking pencil from a student as part of a demonstration: Man, I just love stealing stuff from you kids!
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Liz
Ghetto teen looking at chick hiding her iPod: Don’t worry, I’m not gonna steal that shit. She thinks I’m gonna steal that shit. I should just steal that shit to spite her. Shit.
–B1 bus
Overheard by: Anti-Traffic Girl
Nerdy kid answering cell: Hello? Hello?! Hello! What?! No! No, I didn’t steal Max’s wallet! No!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Now deaf in my right ear
Guy selling watches on street: Come on, everyone, you need a watch. The best in the city, stolen from all your favorite warehouses.
–53rd & 7th
Man to lady: You lyin’, stealin’, your feet stink, and you don’t believe in Jesus.
–Target, Atlantic Center
Guy to girlfriend: …So I had to steal from them so that I could protect them.
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Surfer Dude #1
Professor: Stealing is good, okay? Plagiarism is bad, but stealing is very, very good.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Lili
