Jewish guy #1: We should become born-again Christians so people have to get us presents and we can have parties on our born-again birthdays.
Jewish guy #2: That is the worst reason for converting I have ever heard… Wait, no — actually, if we do it, can we have born-again bar mitzvahs?
–South St Seaport
Man walking down the street in downtown Vancouver to the woman next to him: “I’m Jewish, but my family has been in Canada for three generations”
Woman: “Oh. I have one Jewish friend.”
Hasidic girl, after borrowing non-hasidic girl's phone: Thank you so much! What's your name?
Non-hasidic girl: Ann.
Hasidic girl: Ann… You're Jewish, no?
Non-hasidic girl: No.
Hasidic girl: Really?
Non-hasidic girl, slightly annoyed: Really.
Hasidic girl: Oh. Well, it was nice meeting you anyway.
–Kingston & Empire
Overheard by: Jess
Very Jewish lady behind deli counter: So, how have you been?
Very old Jewish man: Oh, I'm still here.
–Zabar's Deli
Woman: Yo, I just saw somethin really racist.
Man: What?
Woman: There was a sign in the subway that said “Jesus for Jews, Jews for Jesus.”
Man: Oh, that’s a religous group. Haven’t you ever heard of Jews for Jesus?
Woman: That shit’s racist! Jesus for everybody. Jesus for people of all colors!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Steph
Jewess: That’s the third time you mentioned Jews. What’s wrong with Jews?
Goy: They are demanding, confrontational, and have a hard time telling the truth. What religion are you, anyway?
Jewess: Uh…Baptist.
–Times Square
Overheard by: J. Peter Jones
Middle-aged man, into his cell phone: It’s an oneg-shabbat. It’s just a big dinner where everyone can meet each other and talk. It’s only a few hundred dollars for you to sponsor it. [pause] Well, it’s really not a dinner. It’s just some fruit and plates for people to pick at.
— Midtown
Young Yuppie: You’re such a third-generation American Jew.
— 6th Avenue, West Village
Hipster Girl: Hipsterism was made for Jewish guys and Asian Girls.
— Williamsburg
Four teenagers in a convertible at a stop-sign speaking about me as I cross the street right in front of them, in Vancouver: “Hey, he looks Jewish!”
