Wednesday One-Liners Are Really Fucking Sorry about Slavery, Okay?

20-ish white girl to friends: Guys, sometimes I just feel like the only white girl in the city…

–Fulton St

Overheard by: other white girls

Hobo peering in from sidewalk: Ain’t nothin’ but white people all up in this motherfucker! This shit is racist, yo!

–Garden of Eden, 107th & Broadway

Overheard by: Bubby

Black girl on cell: He fucked a white girl? He fucked a white girl?! How stupid is he? You know if you fuck a white girl you gotta get her consent and then sign a contract!

–PATH platform

Angry black traveler on cell: Do you know how long it takes me to get to JFK from my place?! I’m surrounded by crackers! I. Do. Not. Want. To. Be. Here. Crackers all starin’ at me… I dunno what they’re lookin’ at.

–JFK

Overheard by: Not A Cracker But Staring Anyway

Old white guy at Cirque du Soleil show, to daughter: Is this primarily a white thing? I guess that’s why I don’t like this show. I’ve got too much soul for this.

–Madison Square Garden

Drunk black lesbian: I am not racist in any way. I believe that it’s something that’s taught and passed down from your parents. I am not a racist… but what’s up with white people?!

–D train

Posted on January 30, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Black People, Drunks, Girls, Gripes, Hobos, JFK Airport, Lesbians, Madison Square Garden, Old People, On Cell, Race, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Theater & Dance, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, White People

I Need an Occasional Reminder of How Bad It Can Be

Girl #1, outraged: How could you have sex without us?!
Girl #2: Relax — it was with a guy.

–Columbia University

Posted on October 13, 2007
Anger Management, Columbia University, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Lesbians, Questions, Sex

So You’re Saying You Won’t Give Me a Blowjob?

Man: So, you think I can’t understand because I don’t have a vagina?
Lesbo: Don’t sit like that!
Man: What do you mean?
Lesbo: You’re crossing your legs so condescendingly!

–Tea Lounge, Park Slope

Overheard by: Lemma

Headline by: Manbo

Runners-Up:
· “Almost Enough to Make Up for You Lack Of Vagina” – John Gray
· “I’m Just Jealous Because Mine Are Too Fat to Cross That Perfectly” – shenanigans
· “I’m Just Protecting My Tool Of Oppression.” – robs
· “Well You’re Waving Your Vagina Condescendingly” – burnt toast
· “Worst Yoga Class Ever” – benji
· “Yeah, Well Tell Your Nipples to Quit Pointing at Me” – pw

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on October 11, 2007
Assholes, Gender issues, Headline Contest Winners, Lesbians, Men, Park Slope, Stupidity, Talking/Convos

When I’m Not Traveling with My Softball Team

Lesbo: I’m just sick of everyone stereotyping and treating people based on race, sexual orientation, or whatever.
Staight woman: Yeah, it’s hard to avoid.
Lesbo: I know! And it’s like 2007! Everyone’s gay or lesbian. The stereotyping is everywhere — school, the gym, work.
Straight woman: Oh, where do you work?
Lesbo: Home Depot.

–4 train

Overheard by: Stephen Fargo

Posted on August 27, 2007
Gripes, Lesbians, On the Subway, Sexuality

Try a Different City

Hot lesbian #1: Come on, this girl is taking forever!
Hot lesbian #2: If I lift up my clit I can pee standing up…
Straight Asian dude trying to come in: Um…
Hot lesbian #3: Excuse me! Some people are trying to use the urinal! Could we have some privacy in here or what?

–Men’s room, lesbian bar

Overheard by: projectilepee

Posted on May 22, 2007
Lesbians, Pee, Stall Spies

Not in New York, It Doesn’t

Dude: So, you’re a lesbian?!
Chick: Yes! I am a lesbian!
Dude: Wait, so does that mean we can’t go out anymore?

–6 train, 59th St

Overheard by: Emma

Posted on December 16, 2006
Dating, Lesbians, On the Subway

After Your 3,000th Sperm Donation, It Stops Being Luck

Guy: There’s a lot of lucky lesbian couples that are going to have kids that look like me.
Girl: …Dude, that’s gross!

–34th & 7th

Overheard by: M. Ducheine

Posted on December 1, 2006
Babies, Girls, Guys, Lesbians

And, I Mean, If She Were Still Alive and All

Girl: If I were a lesbian, I’d totally go for her!
Guy: Who?
Girl: Priscilla! Well…I mean, if she weren’t my sister.

–M23 Bus

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on November 4, 2006
Bimbettes, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Horny, Incest, Lesbians, On the Bus, Wishes & desires

Biggie: At Last, Someone Understands my Message!

Big white dyke: You know what we should do? We should call Hugh and all our slutty friends. They could all come over and get drunk, and we’d put on some rap.
Big black dyke: What?
Big white dyke: No, seriously, I was at my friends’ party and we put on a Biggie Smalls album. Fifteen minutes later it was the sleaziest party I’ve ever been to.

–Brooklyn bound Q

Overheard by: Benjamin

Posted on October 21, 2006
Celebrations/Parties, Lesbians, Music, On the Subway, Promiscuity

Lesbians