Lady: Naw. This quarter say Pennsylvania on the back.
McChick: Yes, ma’am. It’s a commemorative quarter.
Lady: Yeah. But it say Pennsylvania. See?
McChick: Yes. Those are the new quarters.
Lady: All right. But if I find out I can’t spend this, I’m bringin’ it back in here.
–McDonalds, 23rd & Madison
Overheard by: Will McLaughlin
Chick: Yeah, our RA put up this poster listing these words we’re not
supposed to say because they’re offensive.
Guy: What can’t you say?
Chick: “Bitch”, “retarded”, “gay”, “fag”, “slut”, and “gypped”.
Guy: “Gypped”? Why “gypped”?
Chick: I dunno, it’s offensive to gypsies or something.
Guy: Do gypsies even go to NYU, let alone college?
Chick: Maybe she’s from Romania and shit.
–Hayden Hall Residence, Washington Square West
Overheard by: Glynnis O
Little boy: Mom, is South America a continent?
Mom: Well, it’s…there’s North America and South America.
Little boy: Yeah, is South America a continent?
Mom: Uh, no. No, it’s not a continent, it’s…Um…
–St. Marks Place
Girl: Wow! Did you see the rack on her?
Guy: Where?
Girl: Over there…
Guy: Man! You’re not kidding!
Girl: See what I do for you? Who’s the best girlfriend ever?
–Rockefeller Center
Hobo: Got a cigarette you can spare?…Give me a cigarette!
Girl #1: Hey, fuck you.
Hobo: Yeah, fuck you too!
Girl #2: At least we have a home!
Hobo: Yeah, I got a home too. In your mother’s cunt, bitch!
–Broadway & Bleecker
Overheard by: Solanum
Guy on cell: Yeah, is it Mother’s Day or something?…Oh, I think it’s either Mother’s Day or my mom’s birthday, and I wasn’t sure which…Are you sure it’s not Mother’s Day? Because there’s a lot of people walking around Penn Station carrying flowers.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: LiAps
Guy: I’m gonna go over to D’Ag and get some groceries.
Girl: I think it’s closed.
Guy: Ugh! I forgot the whole world is in church today.
Girl: Shut up, you Jew.
–Greenwich Hotel elevator, Greenwich Street
Overheard by: Jen C.
Chick on cell: You ate pizza on the first fucking night of Passover? Jesus Christ, you’re a bad Jew!
–Marcy Avenue station
Overheard by: katie, a princess
Mom: I am so thirsty, I really would like a Coke. Only two more days ’til I can get one. Do you think this is how Jesus felt when he was in the desert for 40 days?
–Union Square Regal Cinemas
Overheard by: Audrey
Girl on cell: I must’ve gained, like, 10 pounds after the two Passover seders I went to…and I still have Easter dinner to worry about!…What? No, I’m not having a religious identity crisis!
–14th & University
Overheard by: Amelia D
Girl: So what’s with the 40 days of Lent thing?
Guy: Jesus walked the Earth for 40 days after resurrection.
Girl: Oh! So he was like a zombie! That’s so cool!
–118th & Broadway
Overheard by: a catholic
Chick on cell: Dude, let’s go to church before we get fucked up. It’s fuckin’ Easter, you know!
–Fulton & Nassau
Mom: But it’s Easter!
Chick: I’m not religious.
Mom: Yes, you are.
Chick: Plus, I’ve already been to two seders this week: one on Wednesday and one on Thursday. We made latkes, they were really good!
Mom: Yeah, and you also made those potato pancake things.
–Paprika, St. Marks Place
Overheard by: lish
Manager lady on phone: Hi, there…. Oh, I’m just sitting at my desk eating matzoh and turkey, and I’m just bitter. Just very, very bitter. What a stupid holiday! Anyway, how are you?
–Office, 37th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jillynyc
Girl on cell: C-Town doesn’t sell matzoh, I guarantee it. Just fucking rice and beans everywhere…What? You’re not eating bread for the whole week?…Didn’t you just tell me you made a ham?…Oh my god, your mother would fucking have a heart attack.
–Metro-North train
Guy #1: Man, what kind of dog is that?
Guy #2: I don’t know, but it shits a lot.
–125th & Broadway
Overheard by: LoJo
Girl #1: Oh no, he didn’t! He just texted me in caps!
Girl #2: Oh whatever, remember when you you used to caps everyone?
Girl #1: That was before I knew how to change out of caps lock.
–86th & 2nd
Girl #1: So, he sells cell phones, but he makes like four hundred thousand a year! And he has this gorgeous wife and this gorgeous kid, and he smokes pot all the time and it never affects him…He is just amazing…It doesn’t make sense.
Girl #2: Is he Satan?
–Coral Towers Residence elevator, 3rd Avenue
Guy #1: Hey, watch it! Jerk!
Guy #2: Get a bigger dog, asshole!
Guy #1: Be a smaller person!
–Bleecker & Perry
Overheard by: Zell
