Chick #1: Ahh! Why am I, like, sweating?
Chick #2: What is your shirt made of, cotton?
Chick #1: Well, it’s from Forever 21, so it’s probably dead Chinese children.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Magnolia Thunderpussy
Chick #1: Ahh! Why am I, like, sweating?
Chick #2: What is your shirt made of, cotton?
Chick #1: Well, it’s from Forever 21, so it’s probably dead Chinese children.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Magnolia Thunderpussy
Teen thug #1: You spent a thousand dollas on that chain?!
Teen thug #2: Yeah.
Teen thug #1: A thousand dollas? On that bullshit?!
Teen thug #2: This is titanium, son! Ain’t nothin’ stronger than this!
–3 train, 125th St
Overheard by: vegannramember@gmail.com
Girl #1: I like your pants.
Girl #2: Thanks.
Girl #1: You don’t happen to have any percocets in them?
–Barnes and Noble ladies’ room, 48th & 5th
To subscribe, click here.
Hubby: That woman just grabbed my ass!
Wifey: Yeah, you wish.
–Outside the Hard Rock, W 57th St.
Overheard by: Ron Marler
Engineer: Unlike you, I am not always thinking about cock!
–Midtown office
Overheard by: Randy Locklair
Blonde Teen: No. Like it’s hairy. Like really hairy. Like I-have-to-trim-it hairy.
–3rd Ave & 11th St.
Overheard by: D O double
Drunk girl: How much is a Miller Light tall boy?
Beer vendor: $3.
Drunk girl: How about $2.50?
Beer vendor: $3.
Drunk girl: How about $2.75 and my phone number?
Drunk girl gives beer vendor cell phone number.
Beer vendor: $3.
–Penn Station, LIRR
Overheard by: LC
Headline by: Anna-Liza
Runners-Up:
· “Your Jedi Mind Tricks Don’t Work While Drunk” – Anna Nio
· “‘Mommy, How Did You and Daddy Meet?'” – Becca
· “But in Syosset, I’m Beautiful” – Anastasia Beaverhausen
Honorable Mentions:
· “Losing Her Dignity for a Miller Light: Priceless” – mellamaphone
· “Ah, the Reflexive Property of Beer” – Mikey G
· “In his Defense, He Advertises ‘Cold and Frosty'” – Mike T
· “Yeah, I Tried that Line with the Laundry Machine Yesterday” – jumanji
· “C’mon! My Number Really Is 867-5309.” – will manning
Girl #1: Where was Liz last night?
Girl #2: Oh, you didn’t hear?
Girl #1: Hear what?
Girl #2: She went to her boyfriend’s grandmother’s 82nd birthday!
Girl #1: Oh, that’s sweet. Why are you so upset by that?
Girl #2: Her boyfriend’s grandmother died four years ago! Apparently the family has been celebrating it every year! They have a cake with candles and everything.
–16th & 7th
Little girl: I have those shoes!
Queer: Oh my God! Get out of my town! That’s so cool!
–14th street A/C/E station
Teen boy #1: I want to get a soda but my dollar bill is ripped.
Teen boy #2: Nah chief, it’s okay; you didn’t rip the bar code.
–New Balance Track & Field Center, Washington Heights
Overheard by: bill kearns
