Manhattan

Hispanic/black mom: Do you believe that shit? I was like, “You have got to be messin.'”
7-year-old daughter: Ya, I hope you told him.
Mom: Ya, I gave yo’ daddy some shit. He ain’t gonna come round no mo’.

–Water & Fulton

Overheard by: Fabiani

Professor guy: What was the number one cause of death for pioneer women in the 1800s?
Chick: Beauty.

–Touro College Women’s Division, Lexington Avenue

Sidewalk solicitor, eagerly carrying clipboard: Would you please help the…
Pitch target: No spam! (walks away briskly, not looking back)

–7th Ave

College girl to friend: Tonight’s goal is to make out with a cokehead.

–7th St

Woman looking at statue: Did Columbus even make it to Manhattan?

–Columbus Circle

Tourist guy: Lots of people, smells really bad… It’s just like I always imagined.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Lauren

Hipster #1: I’m really into Bossa Nova.
Hipster #2: I like her, too! What was the name of her hit song? The one that goes [starts humming]

–Yuppietown

Guy on cell: OK, well, be safe. If you get raped make sure he wears a condom.

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Daniel

Girl: Don’t let me talk to boys after I take blue pills.

–31st & 2nd

Girl #1: Sometimes he like to rape my ass.
Girl #2: Ew! Hee hee.

–outside The Brooklyn Museum

Overheard by: Josh Neufeld

Girl #1: Well, she was raped.
Girl #2: I wasn’t really raped.

–Vertigo, 26th & 3rd

Yuppie chick #1: Sweetie, you’re going to get raped dressed like that.
Yuppie chick #2: No. I have an umbrella.

–Delancey & Allen

Overheard by: Mitchell Linetti

Chick: Today is such a good day; my class was cancelled, it’s sunny, I’m so relaxed.
Guy: Yeah, and I fucked the shit out of you.
Chick: Yeah, I love you.

–7th & B

Overheard by: meme

Guy: So what gets rid of dark spots, then?
Cashier chick: Nothing here. Try buying some vitamin E oil.
Guy: Whale blubber?

–Kiehl’s, 3rd Avenue

Overheard by: michael neal

Well-dressed woman to passerby: Excuse me. Which way is up?

–53rd & Madison

Overheard by: Kitsune

Stoned guy: I think I thought I had a thought in my head…but I was wrong.

–74th S & Colonial Rd, Bay Ridge

Overheard by: Becka Dash