Man #1: It was kind of weird, she was going down on me and then…Well…She stuck her finger in my butt.
Man #2: You’re kidding me! I didn’t realize that Beth was like that.
Man #3: So what did you do?
Man #1: What could I have done? It kinda weirded me out.
Man #3: Man, if my girl ever did that, I think I’d punch her in the face.
–Penn Station
Jappy girl #1: So like, I couldn’t believe what happened to Erica*, but like, I think she’ll be ok. I mean, she’s gonna marry some guy who went to Penn instead of some guy who went to Princeton, and she’ll have a country house in South Hampton instead of like, East Hampton, but I think she’ll be ok.
Jappy girl #2: Oh yeah, I think she can handle it.
Jappy girl #1: Poor thing.
–The Dalton School
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Chick: So, where are you from?
Guy: I’m from Brooklyn.
Chick: No, you have an accent.
Guy: Oh yeah, well, my parents are Eurotrash.
–Broad & Exchange
Girl #1: I think that most men prefer it closed.
Girl #2: You think? I would figure open to be easier access.
Girl #3: Oh, for God’s sake! No one has ever rejected me because of my vagina!
–61st & Madison
Girl #1: That’s a really nice tweed.
Girl #2: Oh, thanks. Wow.
Girl #1: Seriously, it’s amazing.
Girl #2: Yeah, I was really lucky.
–30th & 5th
Chick: I’d do you.
Kevin Smith: No, you wouldn’t. Not even if you were stoned and drunk.
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Heather
Drunk guy: I’m dunzo like the girl Kristin from Laguna Beach…I’m drunk like I’m on The Real World.
Sober guy: Yo, don’t throw up in the elevator, man. You should go throw up on that girl’s door that we hate.
–Palladium Residence elevator, East 14th Street
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Waiter: How would you like your hamburger? Medium?
Chick: They come in different sizes?
–Peter McManus, 7th Avenue
Overheard by: djlindee
Put away your skewer jokes — we’ve posted a new contest! Click here to read the entry and submit your headline. The winner of Monday’s contest will be posted this coming Monday.
Winners of this and future contests will get a copy of the book Overheard in New York, signed by Morgan Friedman (until we run out).
Fruit stand guy: Too much papaya! Too much marijuana! Too much cocaine!
–Dean & Court, Cobble Hill
Overheard by: Zach
Asian girl: You’re not following the diet plan! It’s either junk food or no food!
–Stuyvesant High School
