Chick: I’d do you.
Kevin Smith: No, you wouldn’t. Not even if you were stoned and drunk.
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Heather
Chick: I’d do you.
Kevin Smith: No, you wouldn’t. Not even if you were stoned and drunk.
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Heather
Drunk guy: I’m dunzo like the girl Kristin from Laguna Beach…I’m drunk like I’m on The Real World.
Sober guy: Yo, don’t throw up in the elevator, man. You should go throw up on that girl’s door that we hate.
–Palladium Residence elevator, East 14th Street
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Waiter: How would you like your hamburger? Medium?
Chick: They come in different sizes?
–Peter McManus, 7th Avenue
Overheard by: djlindee
Put away your skewer jokes — we’ve posted a new contest! Click here to read the entry and submit your headline. The winner of Monday’s contest will be posted this coming Monday.
Winners of this and future contests will get a copy of the book Overheard in New York, signed by Morgan Friedman (until we run out).
Fruit stand guy: Too much papaya! Too much marijuana! Too much cocaine!
–Dean & Court, Cobble Hill
Overheard by: Zach
Asian girl: You’re not following the diet plan! It’s either junk food or no food!
–Stuyvesant High School
Man: Ay, Mami, looking good today…
Woman: Can’t you see I am with my son?
Little boy: You’re his mommy too?
–14th & 3rd
Overheard by: Constantino
Girl #1: So this guy I work with has been hitting on me a lot lately.
Girl #2: Is he Mexican?
Girl #1: No…he’s black or white or something.
–The Cutting Room, West 24th Street
Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Queram
Hispanic/black mom: Do you believe that shit? I was like, “You have got to be messin.'”
7-year-old daughter: Ya, I hope you told him.
Mom: Ya, I gave yo’ daddy some shit. He ain’t gonna come round no mo’.
–Water & Fulton
Overheard by: Fabiani
Professor guy: What was the number one cause of death for pioneer women in the 1800s?
Chick: Beauty.
–Touro College Women’s Division, Lexington Avenue
Sidewalk solicitor, eagerly carrying clipboard: Would you please help the…
Pitch target: No spam! (walks away briskly, not looking back)
–7th Ave
