Black kid, pointing to a Hasidic Jewish man: Yo, check out the Amish dude!
Mother: He ain’t Amish, they wear straw hats.
Black kid: But he’s got a beard. Amish guys got beards. So he’s Amish.
–Uptown 4 train
Overheard by: jewish girl
Black kid, pointing to a Hasidic Jewish man: Yo, check out the Amish dude!
Mother: He ain’t Amish, they wear straw hats.
Black kid: But he’s got a beard. Amish guys got beards. So he’s Amish.
–Uptown 4 train
Overheard by: jewish girl
Little girl in sushi restaurant: Hey! Guess what? I just farted!
Mom and dad ignore her.
Little girl: I said I just farted! And I farted big! Ewwww! And it smells like rotten eggs! Wanna smell?
Little girl lets one rip.
Mother to father: So how was your day?
–Upper West Side
Headline by: Colin McCleod
Runners-Up:
· “Courtney Love: The Early Years” – Claire
· “Ew-nagi” – Mr. Fancipants
· “Gives new meaning to “silent but deadly”” – Will
· “I had to fart a lot to get my boss’s attention…” – alex
· “If We Ignore It, Maybe It Will Just Go Away” – Ian
· “Ignore-ance is Bliss” – Nick
· “Luckily, Rosie O’Donnell was able to refine her act” – prmsrng3
· “Pull My Finger” – Jose Hernandez
· “Practicing for the Teenage Years” – Brian
· “Reason number seven why sushi is a popular dining experience.” – Extra Character
· “Since “How My Day Was” is Self Explanatory…” – Veronica
· “Sounds a little like George W Bush and North Korea’s relationship” – Empty Refrigerator
· “To Air is Human. Earplugs, Divine” – Qasar
· “Unfortunatly, the father spent his day with the chronic masturbator son.” – ToraMaikeru
· “We thought you should know: You’re adopted.” – Jeff
· “What do you have to do to get some attention around here!…crap on the floor?” – pdz
· “Why Mommy and Daddy don’t have sex anymore” – Kristin
· “You’ve got to ac-cent-uate the positive… Flat-u-late the negative…” – Mike Chmiel
Mom: I’m going to Chris’ book opening tonight.
Teen son: Is Chris going to be there?
Mom: Yes, of course. Why?
Teen son: Well, tell him I said, ‘Hi.’ When I grow up, I want to have contacts.
–Doctor’s office, Chelsea
Overheard by: Alison
20-something daughter: Mom, don’t you think it’s inappropriate to be drinking gin and tonics everyday before noon?
Mom: Oh, it’s ok. I only drink in the mornings.
–Central Park
Little girl: So if I don’t take the pill, will I have to have a thousand babies?
Mom: No, that’s not how it works.
–Columbia University
Black 10-year-old girl: Mommy! Mommy! Can I get some ice cream?
Ghetto mom: I ain’t gettin’ you no ice cream. Ain’t no holiday.
Black 10-year-old girl: Is so! It’s the Jewish New Year!
–11th St & Ave C
Small child in stroller: Mommy, why did you wake me up? Don’t wake me up when I’m sleeping!
Mom: Fine. I’ll leave you on the train and you can miss your stop and then the rats will get you.
–Brooklyn bound Q train
Overheard by: djingo
Little boy: Do you play basketball?
Black man: Yes I do.
Little boy: Do you play for the Knicks?
Boy’s mom: Yes, professional basketball players spend their time off doing sudoku puzzles on the subway. Let’s go.
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: Allisa
Extremely large guy: Yo, I’m scared of clowns for reeeaaal.
–Court & Montague, Brooklyn
Mother to young child, after ghetto girl passes: No, honey, she’s not a clown. She just likes to dress that way.
–95th & Madison
Overheard by: Don Ricardo
Mother, watching a clown holding a briefcase walk onto the train: [to child] Look, honey, it’s a funny clown!… [to husband] Do you think he has a bomb in that briefcase?
–F train
Overheard by: and then i burst out laughing.
Tween girl: Mom you’re not a tease if you give it up, you’re a slut. Jesse’s a slut, I’m a tease.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: S-dawg
