Girl #1: I just want to break her spine so that she can’t walk anymore.
Girl #2: Break her spine…?
Girl #1: Because she can walk around. And that’s what’s pissing me off.
–4 train
Overheard by: Michael O’Connor
Girl #1: I just want to break her spine so that she can’t walk anymore.
Girl #2: Break her spine…?
Girl #1: Because she can walk around. And that’s what’s pissing me off.
–4 train
Overheard by: Michael O’Connor
Woman #1: Want to come out with me and Brian tomorrow night?
Woman #2: No thanks. I have plans.
Woman #1: Well ok. I’ll see you. Have fun with those warm bananas.
–F train
Gangsta #1: Tyrone — he all smart and shit now that he got himself an education!
Gansta #2: How he did that? He go to college?
Gansta #1: Nah, he’s too poor to go to college! Nigga went and got himself locked up so he could get his GED!
–Queens-bound N train
Overheard by: chingbaby
Woman #1: She got a booty do
Woman #2: A booty do?
Woman #1: Yeah, you know, when your belly stick out more than your booty do?
–4 train
Guy #1: So this girl comes over and I just want her to give me a blow job.
Guy #2: Yeah, did she do it?
Guy #1: No. She was all like, “I really want to hook up with you, but you won’t respect me if I do.” And I’m just thinking, “Please for the love of God, just suck my dick and I’ll worry about the rest later.” but I obviously can’t say that to her.
Guy #3: Dude, that sucks. It sounds like she’s a total tease.
Guy #1: Yeah. I know man. I really, really just wanted her to suck my dick and she’s worried about all this other stuff.
. . .
Guy #3, as they’re exiting the train: Do you believe we go to law school?
–1 train
Overheard by: Alison R.
Voice over PA: This train will not be continuing and we need to evacuate the train. There is a car in the station so we are going to have everyone walk forward.
Guy #1: There’s a car in the station?!
Guy #2: Yeah, a car from this train…
Guy #1: Oh, thank GOD! I thought someone really fucked up.
–Manhattan-bound F, stopped just short of East Broadway Stop
Overheard by: That Guy
Queer to his friend after hearing raucous cheering coming out of a bar: Straight people are tiresome, yet amusing at the same time.
–46th & 9th
Teen girl smelling a candle: Smells like lesbian.
–5 train
Overheard by: Nolan’s Lover
Little boy to his mother: Mommy, remember the last time you made a mistake?
–Manhattan-bound A train
Boy with ice cream: Does the five-second rule apply to sidewalks?
–92nd & Madison
Little boy to duck: Uh, what the fuck, dude?
–Harlem Meer, Central Park
Overheard by: robin b
Girl #1: You think if I set up a gay couple I’ll go to hell?
Girl #2: Oh, totally.
–L train
Overheard by: ellll to the moee
Suit: I’m going to have challah bread french toast for dinner tonight. My good-for-nothing wife can’t make me dinner — she’s nine months pregnant. She’s home all day, still in pajamas at 2:30 in the afternoon. Why don’t you try putting on some pants, that will get you motivated.
–uptown 2 train leaving Wall Street
Overheard by: Megan W
