Blond, after strenuous workout: God, I look like I just fucked the football team.
Blond friend: Guys like that look.
–Chelsea Piers
Overheard by: MtZ
Blond, after strenuous workout: God, I look like I just fucked the football team.
Blond friend: Guys like that look.
–Chelsea Piers
Overheard by: MtZ
Guy #1: I mean, I dunno, she’s a vegan, I just don’t think I could have group sex with a vegan.
Guy #2: I could!
–Cake Shop
Overheard by: Liz V.
Woman: You wanna have a gang bang? Then I’m not being nice today.
–32nd & 6th
Ghetto girl: While you was kissing him he was eatin’ her out.
–Penn Station
Woman on cell: What would I do without you? Who would archive my threesomes?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Nipples McFreaky
Cabbie, after four girls exit cab: Usually when four white girls get into cab and say, ‘Harlem,’ they are going to see their man for a gang bang.
–109th & Madison
Overheard by: wish i lived in harlem back then
Little girl: I can’t wait to tell my class about polyamory!
–Amtrak out of Penn Station
Overheard by: Nipples
Guy on cell: There was a blonde‐haired girl and a brown‐haired girl. I did everything to the brown‐haired girl!
–Bedford Ave, between N 3rd & N 4th
Overheard by: chloe
Blonde chick on cell: No, you wouldn’t like them. They aren’t into orgies.
–Astor Place
Queer #1: Whatever, ho, you’re the one who had a threesome with like eight guys.
Queer #2: Don’t be saying that in front of company.
Queer #1: Who, Malcolm? He’s not company anymore. He’s penetrated our inner circle of trust.
Queer #2: How?
Queer #1: Because he penetrated one of our inner circles.
–17th & 8th
Overheard by: Zola mae
Suit on cell: And your penis is bigger now?
–68th & Lexington
Guy: I’m being totally honest, you guys…I pulled my groin playing ping pong.
–51st & Lexington
Overheard by: Mike Barish
Lady: Well, I don’t think he realized I was a hooker!
–73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Sandro Olivieri
Girl on cell: So he was a big guy, and he was pretty big, but not that big, but I’m, like, tiny, so we tried, but it wouldn’t go in. Are you listening to me? No, it wouldn’t fit…what could I do? I dropped to my knees and did what I could, but we just won’t work.
–West Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: Darby O’Gill
Mustache: I walked in and it was clearly a gang bang gone awry.
–Dive bar, 96th Street
Chubby guy: Hey! Show me your boobs! No, not the girl. I’m gay, I want to see your man boobs! Come on, show me your boobs!
–Outside Chipotle, 8th St.
Queer: I remember back when I was having orgies with, like, 15 or 20 people. And I was having a lot of fun!
–17th & 7th
Overheard by: Sofia
Guy: So, tell me about this new boy.
Girl: Well, technically I’ve already slept with him.
Guy: Really?
Girl: Remember that orgy? The guy who wasn’t Richard? That was him.
Guy: You know, I wasn’t at that orgy.
–4th & Mercer
Man on cell: After I dropped Benny off at school I stopped by that harem.
–5th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Nerd
Old bald guy looking at Asian call girl section in newspaper, on cell, speaking very slowly and very loudly: Do… You… Take… Veee‐saaaah. Veee‐saaaah. Veeee‐saaaaah! Yes! Visa! No? Okay, thanks. [Same exact dialogue takes place three more times.] Bingo!
–Milford Hotel
Overheard by: not an asian call girl
Guy: I’m a good Jewish son ‑I got 90% off on a hooker!
–Central Park
Guy on cell: Man, I love hookers. My friend just told me about Craig’s list. Shit, there’s like 5,000 hookers on Craig’s list. I love that shit.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: who knew?
Guido in leather jacket, to suit: So did anything ever happen with the whore?
–39th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Asian girl to friend: As long as I’m slutting myself out, I might as well get paid for it!
–22nd & 9th
Overheard by: Kate
Girl: It’s so good to see you! I’m so glad you’re coming to the party!
Guy #1: Me too! I’m excited.
Girl: But we should warn you – there’s a very good chance this could turn into an orgy.
Guy #2: Not to put any pressure on you.
Guy #1: I mean, that’s awesome. I’ve never been to an orgy before.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Flustered Commuter
Nymphet: No, I am serious. Three is menage a trois, but after that it is just an orgy.
–East Village
