Teen girl: My Facebook password is “pee”.
Teen guy: “P”?
Teen girl: No, “pee”. P-e-e. Like, to take a pee. I just couldn’t think of anything. It used to be “poo”. Whatever, it’ll probably get hacked by some stalker anyway.
Teen guy: Who would hack your profile?
Teen girl: My brother did it before. He guessed the password in like three minutes.
–Hayden Hall Residence elevator, Washington Square West
Girl #1: Why you holding yo’ nose? We all know it smells like piss in here.
Girl #2: I know it smells like piss, I just don’ wanna pick anything else up into my lungs.
Girl #1: You jus’ wiling cause of the piss smell.
Girl #2: Please, the elevator in my building smells like piss. In fact, in my building, I can tell you the apartment number of who pissed in the elevator.
–Fordham Metro-North station elevator
Woman: So they’re paying the kidnappers child support? I mean I know they want to support their child, but where is the money going? To those crazy people.
–L train
Overheard by: Kelly Marie
Man: You could turn people to stone with your eyes.
Girl: Dude, there are lots of other people on this train, go hit on someone else.
Man: I know, but you’re the closest and I don’t want to move because I have to pee.
–2 train
Woman: Well, he should just get over it. Who doesn’t have a mother who died?
–MOMA cafeteria
Overheard by: Deborah Freeman
Woman: Well, everybody poops.
Man: That’s the title of a book.
Woman: I know. I was making a literary reference.
–Bowlmor Lanes, University Place
Overheard by: djlindee
Woman #1: It’s flushed like 3 times and I haven’t even sat down yet!
Woman #2: It can already tell your ass is dirty.
–AMC Empire 25 ladies’ room, West 42nd Street
Overheard by: Lalaith
Teen boy #1: Man, I don’t know what I would do…Three billion dollars is a lot of green, yo. What would you guys do?
Teen boy #2: Yo, I’d get me one of them golden showers, son.
Teen boy #1: Dude, that’s when someone pees on you.
–E train
Guy: I could become a sheriff. Don’t you have to take a test to become a sheriff? What if you have one of those disorders that you throw up whenever you take a test?
Girl: Well I guess you could get a note or something.
Guy: Oh yeah, you could be like, “I threw up on my test, that’s why it smells funny. Here’s a note.”
–F train
Overheard by: Graham Davis
Mom: Did she tell you to pee in your pants?
Little girl: No.
Mom: Then she didn’t make you.
–Tompkins Square Park
