Queer guys

My Anti-Drug? Being a Retard

Girl #1: For our next trip, my parents want to go on a cruise to Alaska.
Girl #2: Oh my god, no! Haven’t you seen the Titanic?
Girl #1: I know, right? Plus, it’s cold. I mean look at March of the Penguins. They die there.

–F train

Queer: So some stranger just approached me and asked me to fuck her and her husband on Staten Island…Wait, it was Ellis Island. Yeah, she wanted me to fuck with the Statue of Liberty.
Hag: Oh, that’s too bad. Staten Island is nice.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Tina L.

And by the Way, He's Ross and I'm Rachel

Hell's kitchen gay #1: Is it too weird that my boyfriend and I dated the same guy?
Hell's kitchen gay #2: Uhh…
Hell's kitchen gay #1: Well, I broke up with Jake, and then Jake broke up with Travis, and then Travis and I got together.
Hell's kitchen gay #2: Well at least you were all broken up first.

–53rd & 8th

So What Is That in Straight Years?

Queer #1: Oh, good god, no! He looks like Jack from Will & Grace…
Queer #2: Oh, stop!
Queer #1: … Only about 30 years older.
Queer #2: That would make him, like, 80!

–Greenwich & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Manhattman

Lotta Mileage on It

Dude: Honestly, what was Jamie wearing?
Queer: Something slut-tacular?
Dude: I have a GAP-commercial of a closet. I need to loan her something to wear in public.
Queer: She really just needs to buy something that doesn’t show her cooch.

–Manhattan-bound L train

Overheard by: dead partier

Aren't You Supposed to Be Good at Math?

Drunk Asian girl: I was like totally supposed to be born on January 23, but was really born a week later, so like on January 30th. Then, a few years later, my sister was born on January 22. She like stole my birthday!
Gay guy: What a bitch!
Drunk Asian girl: I know! I always thought she was older than me because of that!

–Downtown A Train

Screaming Furnishings for Screaming Queens

Queer #1: Ooh, I love this rug! Look at it. Don’t you want to put it outside the door like right now?
Queer #2: Ooh, yeah, right. I love the colors. They say: go away!

–Bed, Bath and Beyond, 18th & 6th

Don’t Even Ask about the Spread

Queer: Do you know who’s playing in the Super Bowl?
Fag hag: Beyoncé, Prince… And someone else I don’t remember…

–The Loews, Lincoln Square

Um…Frida Kahlo?

NYU gay #1: I have a fat ass.
NYU gay #2: Yeah, your ass is huge.
NYU gay #1: Well, I always say that it's better to have a fat ass than a fat belly. You can grab ass fat. Who wants to grab a gut?
NYU gay #2: True.

–10th & 4th Ave

But Sew Enough of Them Together and You Get a Mink Coat

Queer: I mean, I’ve seen one before, and they’re just nasty.
Girl: Well, they’re not naturally nasty. Naturally, they’re furry death traps.

–NYU

“Well, let’s not go nuts. Yet.”

Queer #1: I could fly from here to San Francisco.
Queer #2: Straight?

–19th & Broadway

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