Hobo #1: You know what, man?
Hobo #2: What’s up?
Hobo #1: Yo, I balls out love opera.
–Houston & 1st
Overheard by: Jonah Eller-Isaacs
Hobo #1: You know what, man?
Hobo #2: What’s up?
Hobo #1: Yo, I balls out love opera.
–Houston & 1st
Overheard by: Jonah Eller-Isaacs
Cell phone chick: So if you upgrade to this new plan for $10 more a month, we’ll give you a totally free phone. $0, free of charge. All you have to do is mail in a $50 rebate form.
Woman: Wait, I thought it was free.
Cell phone chick: It is, you just pay me $50, and then send in the rebate form and they’ll mail you a $50 check.
Woman: Wait, but it’s not free? My husband will kill me if I spend
money on a new phone. What’s 50 minus 50?…I went to Syracuse University, I’m a college educated person, and I’m still confused. Is it free?
–Verizon, 34th between Broadway & 7th
Overheard by: Jordan the Intern
Girl: Just tell me!
Guy: Well what do you think? Do you think I cheated on you, yes or no?
Girl: No!
Guy: Wrong.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Emma
Traveler: Does this A train go near 33rd St?
Conductor: Sure. Get off at 34th St.
Traveler: Is that near 33rd St?
–A Train
Girl: Can I get a pack of Camels, please?
Cashier guy: Sure…Need a lighter?
Girl: No, thanks.
Cashier guy: Matches?
Girl: I’m all set.
Cashier guy: Receipt?
Girl: No.
Cashier guy: A bag?
Girl: Can I get the fuck out of your store, please?
–Duane Reade, 53rd & 8th
Guy at bar doing crossword: “The sound of a crowd.” Three letters, ending with “n.”
Hot bartender: Ummmmm.
Guy: “Din”? Is it “din”?
Hot bartender: What? Like people get together and just start saying “din din din”? I don't think so!
–The Continental
Overheard by: choking on scotch
Hipster guy: And then we wandered down the street into Bed-Stuy, like into the projects, and these guys were screaming at us, like, “You in the wrong part of Brooklyn, white boys!” …but Marcus is half black!
Hipster girl: Oh, so it's not entirely ironic when he freestyles?
–Hayden Residence Hall, NYU
Girl #1: How's this look? Does it make me look fat? Like super obese fat?
Girl #2: You are fat. So, uhhh…yeah, sorta.
Girl #1: Let's get some cupcakes.
–92nd & 3rd
20-ish girl: Jack is going to Vegas for a bachelor party Friday. Should I be worried? What really happens at those things, anyway?
30-ish guy: It depends. The last one I went to was pretty low-key, but I’ve been to plenty of crazy bachelor weekends with strippers and a double-ended dildo.
20-ish girl: That’s it?! I’ve been to tons of parties with strippers and dildos. That’s not that crazy.
30-ish guy: When’s Jack back?
20-ish girl: Sunday.
30-ish guy: I think I might have a party Saturday.
–Union Square
Girl #1: Where should we go, posh?
Girl #2: Posh? When did we go to posh again?
Girl #1: That was the night we left those Irish kids on the park bench.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Daniel
