Guy at bar doing crossword: “The sound of a crowd.” Three letters, ending with “n.”
Hot bartender: Ummmmm.
Guy: “Din”? Is it “din”?
Hot bartender: What? Like people get together and just start saying “din din din”? I don't think so!
–The Continental
Overheard by: choking on scotch
Hipster guy: And then we wandered down the street into Bed-Stuy, like into the projects, and these guys were screaming at us, like, “You in the wrong part of Brooklyn, white boys!” …but Marcus is half black!
Hipster girl: Oh, so it's not entirely ironic when he freestyles?
–Hayden Residence Hall, NYU
Girl #1: How's this look? Does it make me look fat? Like super obese fat?
Girl #2: You are fat. So, uhhh…yeah, sorta.
Girl #1: Let's get some cupcakes.
–92nd & 3rd
20-ish girl: Jack is going to Vegas for a bachelor party Friday. Should I be worried? What really happens at those things, anyway?
30-ish guy: It depends. The last one I went to was pretty low-key, but I’ve been to plenty of crazy bachelor weekends with strippers and a double-ended dildo.
20-ish girl: That’s it?! I’ve been to tons of parties with strippers and dildos. That’s not that crazy.
30-ish guy: When’s Jack back?
20-ish girl: Sunday.
30-ish guy: I think I might have a party Saturday.
–Union Square
Girl #1: Where should we go, posh?
Girl #2: Posh? When did we go to posh again?
Girl #1: That was the night we left those Irish kids on the park bench.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Daniel
Friend: Where's that pizza from?
Stroller dad: Tony's*.
Friend: Oh, Tony's*.
Stroller dad: Yeah. We named our rabbit Tony*.
Friend: Because it poops all the time?
Stroller dad: Yeah.
–Bar, Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Thug #1: Yo, we’re in a serious predicament!
Thug #2: Nigga, where did your foolish ass learn that shit?
Thus #1: Law & Order.
–Times Square
Overheard by: becca
Asian yuppie: I’m so tired of his bullshit. I’m done. Like seriously. Who the fuck tells his ex: “Hey, I’m going to ask this chick out, you think it’s a good idea?” That bastard!
White yuppie: Wow, no respect at all.
Asian yuppie: I know.
White yuppie: We should go out for drinks, I know a lot of guy friends who would do anything to have sex with you.
Asian yuppie: I don’t need to get laid…
White yuppie: Blasphemy!
Asian yuppie: Ok. You’re right, maybe I do need to get laid.
–Grand Central Station
Girl from upstate New York: So are there a lot of colored people in Connecticut?
Long pause.
Black girl: We say black people now.
–FIT
Overheard by: LL
Queer: Can I bum a cigarette? I’m about to get my dick wet.
Flamboyant queer: That’s something straight people say.
Queer: Can I bum a cigarette? I’m about to get my dick stinky.
–Soho
Overheard by: Daniel Scott
