You'll Be Embarrassed When You Realize He's Talking on His New Bluetooth

Hobo to himself: The VA wants $200. (pause) How can I give them $200? (pause) I only get $320. (pause) Maybe I'll bribe them. (pause) No, that won't work–you need money to bribe people.

–Chase ATM, Grammercy

Overheard by: cmk

Headline by: Luminesce

Runners-Up:
· “He’ll Be Running a Hedge Fund in No Time” – again
· “I Guess the Facelift Will Have to Wait” – JohnAustin
· “In the End, He’ll Use His Sex Appeal” – Daniel
· “It’s a Catch-22” – Gary
· “Or Just Vomit on Their Doorstep Until They Cave in” – Fresca P
· “You Could Try to Sell Barack Obama’s Senate Seat” – Nick Pollotta

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on July 5, 2015
Bank, Headline Contest Winners, Hobos, Homeless, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions

And Pro-Life

Lesbian #1: Oh my god, you so don't even have any Republican friends!
Lesbian #2: Yes I do…what about John?
Lesbian #1: He's not your friend. He just flirts with you on Gchat.
Lesbian #2: Oh my god, he so doesn't. He's had a girlfriend for three years. (pause) Plus, he's gay.

–East Village

Posted on July 5, 2015
Chat, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, Lesbians, Politics, Questions, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-Liners Refuse to Go to the Outer Boroughs

Foreign taxi driver: If you know anything, you find job in New York. If you know nothing, you drive cab.

–Upper West Side

Cab driver to woman who just cut him off: Hey lady, learn how to drive! Go back to Park Slope!

–28th & Park Ave

Overheard by: natasha

Crazy drunken taxi driver: Do chicken wings cause pregnancy?

–West Side Highway

Overheard by: amalthya

Smelly cabbie to patrons: Oh, the smell! That is just fish water. Someone threw fish water all over my cab. That is the stink.

–48th St & Lexington

Overheard by: anon

Posted on July 4, 2015
Cabbies, Cars and Driving, Food, Foreigners, Jobs & Careers, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Why Would You Want to Break Up Such a Fabulous Spectacle?

Queer #1: Do you know the best way two break up a fight between two drag queens?
Queer #2: No, what?

–14th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Kelly Speich

Posted on July 4, 2015
Fighting and ass kicking, Queer guys, Questions, The Village, Trannies

Turns Out She Wanted to Eat at Subway.

Foreign hottie #1: Hello. Where is the subway?
Random girl: What subway?
Foreign hottie #2: Any subway.
Random girl: Well, where are you going?
Foreign hottie #1: The subway.

–2nd Ave & 1st St.

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Posted on July 4, 2015
Directions, Foreigners, Girls, Public Transportation, Questions, Strangers, Union Square and East Village

Let Me Guess: La Boheme

Hobo #1: You know what, man?
Hobo #2: What’s up?
Hobo #1: Yo, I balls out love opera.

–Houston & 1st

Overheard by: Jonah Eller-Isaacs

Posted on July 3, 2015
Hobos, Music, Questions, Talking/Convos, Union Square and East Village

Now Try to Explain Cell Phones vs. Cordless

Cell phone chick: So if you upgrade to this new plan for $10 more a month, we’ll give you a totally free phone. $0, free of charge. All you have to do is mail in a $50 rebate form.
Woman: Wait, I thought it was free.
Cell phone chick: It is, you just pay me $50, and then send in the rebate form and they’ll mail you a $50 check.
Woman: Wait, but it’s not free? My husband will kill me if I spend
money on a new phone. What’s 50 minus 50?…I went to Syracuse University, I’m a college educated person, and I’m still confused. Is it free?

–Verizon, 34th between Broadway & 7th

Overheard by: Jordan the Intern

Posted on July 3, 2015
Business and Commerce, Cell Phone, Clerks, Family Ties, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Questions, Shopping, Store, Stupidity, Women

Paradox: If All Men Are Liars, Did he Cheat or Not?

Girl: Just tell me!
Guy: Well what do you think? Do you think I cheated on you, yes or no?
Girl: No!
Guy: Wrong.

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Emma

Posted on July 3, 2015
Brooklyn, Couples, Infidelity, Offers and requests, Questions, Talking/Convos

And, If So, Is It Above or Below It?

Traveler: Does this A train go near 33rd St?
Conductor: Sure. Get off at 34th St.
Traveler: Is that near 33rd St?

–A Train

Posted on July 3, 2015
Conductors, Directions, On the Subway, Passengers, Public Transportation, Questions, Stupidity

At Least She Said “Please”?

Girl: Can I get a pack of Camels, please?
Cashier guy: Sure…Need a lighter?
Girl: No, thanks.
Cashier guy: Matches?
Girl: I’m all set.
Cashier guy: Receipt?
Girl: No.
Cashier guy: A bag?
Girl: Can I get the fuck out of your store, please?

–Duane Reade, 53rd & 8th

Posted on July 3, 2015
Assholes, Duane Reade, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions, Shopping, Smoking, Talking/Convos, Vendors & Street Performers

Questions